Posts Tagged ‘Dumb America’

Florida Does it Again: Dumbass Hires Model to Clean House Naked & She Steals $40,000 in Jewelry

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

READ ALL ABOUT IT:

A nude maid cleaned up good at a Florida man’s home.

The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office says the maid stole more than $40,000 from a Cheval home despite not wearing any clothes.

The 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his suburban Tampa home.

Authorities say the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour.

Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter says the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.

When the man’s wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.

Police are investigating.

Florida’s ABC Action News tracked down the poor wife and reports:

The wife of a man who hired a nude maid to clean their home while she was away is speaking out over the theft of $40,000 worth of jewelry from the residence.

The wife, who asked not to be identified, says she plans to file for divorce. “My mom is very ill so I was away caring for her and when I came back that is what I came back to,” the wife told abcactionnews.com.

She agreed to the interview hoping it will help investigators locate the stolen goods.

Deputies say Kenna DiMartini is a person of interest in connection with the so-called “nude maid” jewelry theft case. The valuables apparently were stolen from the couple’s Cheval home in northwest Hillsborough County while the maid was “cleaning.”

The husband reportedly located the maid through Craigslist and hired her to clean the home while his wife was out of town. It’s believed the maid cleaned out the jewelry while cleaning up the bedroom.

Deputies say the man’s wife discovered her jewelry missing when she returned to her newly spic ‘n span home.

The husband pointed officers to the woman’s web site and provided a physical description of her appearance, minus clothing details.

The wife says she questions whether the “nude maid” actually “cleaned” the home.

“I’m gonna divorce him because I can’t trust him. He violated every core of marriage and trust, ” she said, adding, “I bleached my whole house because she’s been inside my house, and there’s a stain in my heart that bleach is never going to erase.”

So, being a good blogger, I googled Kenna DiMartini and snapped shots of personal pages before they all disappear. She claims she does porn but does not do prostitution. First, Kenna DiMartini’s sexyjobs page:

Second, her myspace page:

Third and fourth, her modelmayhem and modelingcorner pages:

Fifth, Kenna DiMartini’s NSFW dymondstaffing page:

And, finally, I searched the Tampa craigslist for maids and found this listing which might be the “service provider” that the hapless gentleman used:

The Ringle

Monday, September 10th, 2007

The ringle is coming soon to a Wal-Mart and a dictionary near you.

The ringle is a slip-sleeved CD single of a hit song that will feature a couple of bonus tracks from the same artist and a code to allow buyers to go online and download a “free” ringtone of the main song. For $6 or $7, this sounds strangely reminiscent of the French decision to sign off on the Louisiana Purchase: it’s a bad deal.

I agree that it’s a bad deal for the consumer but it’s obviously not a bad business decision. I can picture the consumer excess now: Polo wearing 40-somethings loitering outside of lobby doors between their paid vacations to Las Vegas dropping “ringle”s and calling each other to hear their latest 5 second song clips.

Angry Space Women are really from Earth

Monday, February 5th, 2007

ORLANDO, Fla. – An astronaut drove from Houston to Florida, donned a disguise and confronted a woman she believed was romantically involved with a space shuttle pilot she was in love with, police said. She was charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.

:lol: I’m not sure why, but I am beside myself with laughter because of this story.