It is an Eagles/Cardinals NFC Championship game.
Posts Tagged ‘Deep Thoughts’
Foosball is the Devil Redux
Sunday, January 11th, 2009Foosball is the Devil
Monday, January 5th, 2009It could be an Eagles/Cardinals NFC Championship game.
Holiday Gift-Giving
Saturday, December 6th, 2008This post was inspired by the anecdotes contained within this TODAY article.
Gift giving isn’t that much of a chore. I give by one simple rule: When in doubt, give a gift card (or two!). This Christmas, most of my family will be receiving Amazon gifts cards. It’s not that I’m too lazy to find out what they want. I’ve simply been scarred by too many bad gifts.
I attended college in Conway, SC, which is a city that borders Myrtle Beach. While there, I received bad gifts like an ice-scrapper, a bottle of deicer spray, and winter gloves. Though those gifts proved to be useful in the future, like every college kid I had immediate needs like booze and ramen noodles. And, really, it only snowed one day out of the year and the entire state shut-down at the mere threat of snow.
But nothing tops what I received from my mother one balmy winter. During my freshman year of college, my mother sent me a bouquet of canned foods. Wonderful, right? Who doesn’t like food? Unfortunately, I was not in possession of a can opener. Also, my mother had talked up the gift to such a degree that I thought I was receiving something big like a car.
I’ve received more bad gifts but I think I’ve repressed the memories. Obviously, I’m not one who believes that it’s the thought that counts. If I do go beyond a gift card, I put thought and effort into it and I’ll get you something unexpected. On the flip side, when I receive a bad gift, I feel bad. Seriously, if you can’t expend the effort or the money, tell me and we can exchange greeting cards. I’d rather you keep the money and buy yourself something enjoyable.
It’s Easter. Happy Easter.
Sunday, March 23rd, 2008The last time Easter was celebrated on March 23 was in 1913. This will occur again in 2160. The earliest possible day on which Easter can be celebrated is March 22. This occurred in 1818 and will occur again in 2285. The latest possible day is April 25. This occurred in 1943 and will occur again in 2038.
When I was Catholic, I’d go to Mass about half a dozen times during the week preceding Easter. Something about Lent and 40 days and a zombie named Jesus. Now that I’m past all of that, I celebrate Easter by taking a shower and looking at the WaPo‘s “Peeps Show” (I ate with family yesterday).
Of the top 37, my favorites are:
U2 Peep-D
Peeps Atop a Skyscraper (c. 1932)
Sesame Peep
‘Peep Set Me Up!’ (D.C. mayor Marion Barry’s infamous 1990 arrest.)
Have a happy Easter everyone.
In this post, I ponder an age-old question
Monday, January 7th, 2008Is Jesus a mental disorder?
(Warning: Ranting ahead!)
The cultural topoi that surround the Jesus mythoi is well illustrated by the above “interpretation” of Jesus. In the West, we see Jesus as a very attractive man. We portray him as a well-groomed white man with long and flowing brown hair. Often, he is portrayed as tall with solid frame. He casts out demons by day and saves the world by night. He is a pious John Wayne.
Of course, this beauty is a complete lie. Jesus was likely a short and malnourished dark-skinned man with ratty hair and swollen feet. However, even in the Catholic Church, whose dogma considers Jesus to be a lesser saint of sorts, the contemplation of him as a man from the people is blasphemy
This fixation on the indelible beauty that is Jesus can cause people to have problems with reality. Case in point: The View’s Sherri Shepherd. Aside from never choosing a side in the age old the world is flat versus the world is round debate, she also believes that Jesus predates everything. Now, I get it. Jesus is eternal, nothing that came before his greatness matters, before Christ, ante Christum, blah, blah, blah, etc.
Thanks to modern comforts such as programmable televisions and remote garage door openers, this type of nonthought works for her. And, though she seems honest enough in her confusion when confronted, she makes a great case for Bokononism.
In brief, Bokonoism is the (fictional) belief that ignorance is bliss. This is akin to a mental disorder in that, in both cases, stimuli are incorrectly perceived and/or incorrectly interpreted: An individual who experiences social phobia often misreads social interactions and a schizophrenic completely misperceives his environment.
Where does this take us? Christians who fixate on Jesus often misinterpret the willingness of others to adhere to Jesusly standards and will misperceive their failures as a sign of a demonic interference. Unfortunately, for the rest of us, these Christians don’t even attempt to live in reality. And, so, we’re stuck with their dumb shit like their outrage over the movie adaption of The Golden Compass, their smearing of the homosexual lifestyle, and their saber rattling known as the War on Christmas.
Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 22nd, 2007I’ll have to wait until Saturday to celebrate my thanksgiving. But, that’s all good. To celebrate, the only two thanksgiving day classics ever recorded are now on the media player playlist: Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant” and Adam Sandler’s “Thanksgiving Song”.
For the uninitiated, make sure your sound’s on and simply click on the song you wish to hear.
Update: They play now.
