What’s that about clinging to guns?
A nude maid cleaned up good at a Florida man’s home.
The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office says the maid stole more than $40,000 from a Cheval home despite not wearing any clothes.
The 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his suburban Tampa home.
Authorities say the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour.
Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter says the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.
When the man’s wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.
Police are investigating.
Florida’s ABC Action News tracked down the poor wife and reports:
The wife of a man who hired a nude maid to clean their home while she was away is speaking out over the theft of $40,000 worth of jewelry from the residence.
The wife, who asked not to be identified, says she plans to file for divorce. “My mom is very ill so I was away caring for her and when I came back that is what I came back to,” the wife told abcactionnews.com.
She agreed to the interview hoping it will help investigators locate the stolen goods.
Deputies say Kenna DiMartini is a person of interest in connection with the so-called “nude maid” jewelry theft case. The valuables apparently were stolen from the couple’s Cheval home in northwest Hillsborough County while the maid was “cleaning.”
The husband reportedly located the maid through Craigslist and hired her to clean the home while his wife was out of town. It’s believed the maid cleaned out the jewelry while cleaning up the bedroom.
Deputies say the man’s wife discovered her jewelry missing when she returned to her newly spic ‘n span home.
The husband pointed officers to the woman’s web site and provided a physical description of her appearance, minus clothing details.
The wife says she questions whether the “nude maid” actually “cleaned” the home.
“I’m gonna divorce him because I can’t trust him. He violated every core of marriage and trust, ” she said, adding, “I bleached my whole house because she’s been inside my house, and there’s a stain in my heart that bleach is never going to erase.”
So, being a good blogger, I googled Kenna DiMartini and snapped shots of personal pages before they all disappear. She claims she does porn but does not do prostitution. First, Kenna DiMartini’s sexyjobs page:
Second, her myspace page:
Third and fourth, her modelmayhem and modelingcorner pages:
Fifth, Kenna DiMartini’s NSFW dymondstaffing page:
And, finally, I searched the Tampa craigslist for maids and found this listing which might be the “service provider” that the hapless gentleman used:
Via Andrew Sullivan, the Catholic mental ward also known as the American Life League is, on June 7th, bestowing the nation with “Protest the Pill Day ‘08: The Pill Kills Babies” protests that will occur in front of Planned Parenthood buildings and abortion clinics.
Because they’re a Catholic organization (which is synonymous with complete and utter honesty), let’s check they’re claims about the evil things that will happen to the pill taker (also known as the baby murderer):
- Cerebral hemorrhage (bleeding into the cranial cavity)7,8
(This one sounds bad.) - Cerebral thrombosis (blood clot that drains blood from the brain)7,8
(This one sounds horrible.) - Retinal thrombosis (blockage of the central retinal vein that carries blood away from the eye)7,8
(Oh. My. God.) - Thrombophlebitis and venous thrombosis with or without embolism (blood clots in the veins)4,7,8
(Alright, this is getting scary.) - Budd-Chiari Syndrome (closing of the veins that carry deoxygenated blood from the lower half of the body into the heart)7,8
(Sweet Jesus! I need salvation!)
But, wait. What do their sources say? Source 4 is a book or booklet or something entitled Infant Homicides through Contraceptives. I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence but you can purchase it for $1.95 from something called CatholicStore.com.
That leaves sources 7 and 8. Again, I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence but they both link to Ortho Tri-Cyclen inserts. Ortho Tri-Cyclen is also known as “the pill.” Source 7 is for regular Ortho Tri-Cyclen and source 8 is for Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo which contains 10 micrograms less estrogen than the standard pill. So, they have, essentially, the same side effects.
But, wait. Side effects? No, not really. Taking “the pill” is associated with an increased risk of developing a condition listed above. A side effect is nausea. Those are adverse reactions. Another adverse reaction is death and death can occur after taking for the first time something as common as Tylenol.
But, wait. What’s that commandment? Number 9? Thou shalt not bear fal… Hmmm, I can’t recall. Anyway, I’m sure it’s not an important one.
McNEIL-PPC, Inc. for their Zyrtec-D packaging:
Yes, 24 individually wrapped nasal decongestant tablets. The lot of wasted plastic might be redeemable if the packaging wasn’t ridiculously child and old-person proof. The packaging works well if you’re carrying one in your pocket. Unfortunately, the packaging is more annoying than those sticky things on DVD holders and will work against you if you would like to, say, remove the tablet.
The ringle is coming soon to a Wal-Mart and a dictionary near you.
The ringle is a slip-sleeved CD single of a hit song that will feature a couple of bonus tracks from the same artist and a code to allow buyers to go online and download a “free” ringtone of the main song. For $6 or $7, this sounds strangely reminiscent of the French decision to sign off on the Louisiana Purchase: it’s a bad deal.
I agree that it’s a bad deal for the consumer but it’s obviously not a bad business decision. I can picture the consumer excess now: Polo wearing 40-somethings loitering outside of lobby doors between their paid vacations to Las Vegas dropping “ringle”s and calling each other to hear their latest 5 second song clips.
Amtrak is chugging toward its fifth-straight record year for ridership nationwide, helped by high gasoline prices and congested highways and airports that seem to have encouraged people to keep their vehicles parked.
I don’t get it. Any sensible individual who’s been a guest of Amtrak leaves with a greater appreciation of Sartre’s “l’enfer, c’est les autres” (”hell is other people”).
This is exactly what I do with my women:
“It’s the kind of thing that goes straight into your subconscious,” said Raye, who was determined to find out where all the other billboards were, so she could make sure her 11-year-old daughter would be spared the horrific imagery.
“The message is that this is what you do with women,” Cain said. “You kidnap then, you confine them, you torture them and you kill them.”
Peter Wilkes, a Lionsgate executive, told me the studio had nothing to do with the ads that bear its name. Lionsgate partnered with After Dark Films. So I talked to Courtney Solomon, who runs After Dark. He said the billboards were a mistake. That ad was one of 50 or 60 concepts under consideration, he said, and before any were approved, this one ended up at a printing plant and up on billboards in L.A., as well as on New York taxicabs.
“To be honest with you, I don’t know where the confusion happened and who’s responsible,” Solomon said.
I’m having trouble believing that two movie studios had not a clue that ads for their movie would be all over Los Angeles and New York, but Solomon said he ordered them all taken down after he received the first complaint and drove to see one of the billboards. He said he knew of at least 10 complaints forwarded to him by Lionsgate.
The billboards should all be down by Tuesday, Solomon said, carping a bit about how much it would cost him to have the ads removed. He apologized to those who were offended and said he hoped people don’t get the wrong idea about “Captivity.” It’s not a slasher movie, he said. “It’s about something that happens to 850,000 people in this country a year.”
I told him I was unaware of 850,000 people being abducted, tortured with cables stuck up their noses and murdered.
“This movie is about a story of what happened to one person who is abducted,” he said.
I guess that means there could be 849,999 sequels.
Can’t wait.
The horrible advertisements posted here without permission:
ORLANDO, Fla. - An astronaut drove from Houston to Florida, donned a disguise and confronted a woman she believed was romantically involved with a space shuttle pilot she was in love with, police said. She was charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.
I’m not sure why, but I am beside myself with laughter because of this story.
What appears on the surface to be a uniting endeavor (what can unite American citizens more than a stirring rendition of the “The Star-Spangled Banner”?) has drifted off into conservative la-la land where bullshit is frequently spewed.
Whatever side you fall on in the illegal-immigration debate (and there are more than three sides), you “ought to” decide if a statement from a sitting president like this:
“I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English, and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English.”
“ought to” be tolerated. President Bush is commenting on what is essentially a free speech issue. He is “The Decider” and has decided that the “The Star-Spangled Banner” “ought to” be sung in English. That’s right: To hell with citizens who are French and Jewish and German and Russian and Asian. You “ought to” learn English (at least he didn’t say “American”) and not sing our beloved “Star-Spangled Banner” in you native tongue.
Isn’t it humbling to hear Bush rattle on like a bumblefuck?
Conservative blogger Michelle Malkin considers the rendition “illegal alien anthem nonsense” after unsarcastically opining “Who’s assimilating whom?” a day earlier in regards to the Spanish version of the White House website.
Ah yes, conservatives believe that they alone set the terms and the verbiage of this debate. Browsing through the conservative blogosphere, terms like “unpatriotic,” “divisive,” “disrespectful,” and “despicable” are sufficiently supplied. (This is the same language used to describe a Democrat every time he or she breathes.)
Perhaps I’m missing the big picture. Let me allow completely irrelevant George Key, great-grandson of Francis Scott Key, to explain:
“The national anthem is for Americans, and that’s what it should be - in American English.”
Or, maybe “mike” can put together a better argument:
To all Illegal Immigrants,
Either learn the English language like immigrants from other countries did, or GET OUT! This is the United States and our primary language is ENGLISH! Sure you can speak Spanish with your family and friends, but dont change our National Anthem and try and make the new primary language spanish! It’ll just make more Americans look down on you!
Hmmm… “Tracy” maybe?
The United States National Anthem should be subg in ENGLISH, the language it was written in
Maybe “Proud American Servicewoman” can clear this up some:
Just thought I would impart some information to some of you. This spanish language version is not the brainchild of illegal immigrants. This new version was the idea of a british man and among the spanish singers contributing their voices are Puerto Rican singers Carlos Ponce and Olga Tanon. Let me repeat that: PUERTO RICAN singers. For those of you who are unaware, Puerto Rico is a commonwealth of the United States, all of its citizens are just as much U.S. Citizens as all of us born within the U.S. and Puerto Rico has two official languages- English and Spanish. So before everyone goes off the deep end about how disrespectful this is and write hateful things about immigrants, stop and evaluate who is really responsible. Can you really be upset with a bunch of boricuas singing the anthem in spanish when spanish is just as much the official language in Puerto Rico as English? No, it just stupid. Can you blame the government for trying to turn this into a hot political topic- they need everything they can to prevent the ADHD American Public from remembering the real issues- I don’t care really care one way or another what is done regarding immigration as long at it is done and implemented in a timely manner. I think our country has much bigger problems it should be handling, like the care of our veterans, my husband among the discarded medically discharged marines who has no medical coverage until the VA can “determine his eligibilty for benefits” which can take over a year in our lovely state of California. So quit your b!tching about these trivia social issues and start writing your congressmen if you are really that concerned. Besides, have we all forgotten our protected right to freedom to speak? Just like with flag burning though hearing the anthem in spanish doesn’t seem right to me, I will defend to the death the RIGHT to do it, as should all those affliated with military.
OH that’s RIGHT! America has legitimate problems that can’t be blamed on minorities! Like health care and the deficit and obesity and domestic surveillance and a war.
The brainchildren and star power behind this endeavor are Mexican pop diva Gloria Trevi, Puerto Rican reggaeton star Don Omar, Puerto Rican composer and singer Ivy Queen, the Mexican band Reik, the R&B group Voz a Voz, and Latin musicians Franco De Vita and Kalimba.
Listen to “Nuestro Himno” here. Don’t worry, it’s very well done and, afterwards, you may still be an American (unlike those homosexuals, Mexicans, and Arabs).
