The Nappy Cat Chronicles

Via Andrew Sullivan, the Catholic mental ward also known as the American Life League is, on June 7th, bestowing the nation with “Protest the Pill Day ‘08: The Pill Kills Babies” protests that will occur in front of Planned Parenthood buildings and abortion clinics.

Because they’re a Catholic organization (which is synonymous with complete and utter honesty), let’s check they’re claims about the evil things that will happen to the pill taker (also known as the baby murderer):

• Cerebral hemorrhage (bleeding into the cranial cavity)^7,8
  (This one sounds bad.)
• Cerebral thrombosis (blood clot that drains blood from the brain)^7,8
  (This one sounds horrible.)
• Retinal thrombosis (blockage of the central retinal vein that carries blood away from the eye)^7,8
  (Oh. My. God.)
• Thrombophlebitis and venous thrombosis with or without embolism (blood clots in the veins)^4,7,8
  (Alright, this is getting scary.)
• Budd-Chiari Syndrome (closing of the veins that carry deoxygenated blood from the lower half of the body into the heart)^7,8
  (Sweet Jesus! I need salvation!)

But, wait. What do their sources say? Source 4 is a book or booklet or something entitled Infant Homicides through Contraceptives. I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence but you can purchase it for $1.95 from something called CatholicStore.com.

That leaves sources 7 and 8. Again, I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence but they both link to Ortho Tri-Cyclen inserts. Ortho Tri-Cyclen is also known as “the pill.” Source 7 is for regular Ortho Tri-Cyclen and source 8 is for Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo which contains 10 micrograms less estrogen than the standard pill. So, they have, essentially, the same side effects.

But, wait. Side effects? No, not really. Taking “the pill” is associated with an increased risk of developing a condition listed above. A side effect is nausea. Those are adverse reactions. Another adverse reaction is death and death can occur after taking for the first time something as common as Tylenol.

But, wait. What’s that commandment? Number 9? Thou shalt not bear fal… Hmmm, I can’t recall. Anyway, I’m sure it’s not an important one.