The Nappy Cat Chronicles

I’ve come to the conclusion that religion is essentially a survival mechanism designed by humans to ensure the continued existence of a species cohort. Go me! I think my notion is best exemplified by the current efforts of Christian fundamentalists in America to lock homosexuality (and, incidentally, homosexuals) in the closet for eternity. Although these people are willing to lie their asses off, I’m going to focus on the argument of theirs that is premised upon a rigid natural/unnatural, graceful/sinful dichotomy.

On the surface, the argument makes sense: That which is natural is God-given; therefore, natural acts are preferred by God. Those acts that are not preferred by God are sinful acts; therefore, unnatural acts, such as non-procreative sex acts, are sinful. Because sex between a man and a woman is the natural procedure by which humans procreate, sex between two men is the ultimate perversion of nature and God’s will.

(Have you ever noticed that sex between two females is never spoken of? When you hear the word “gay sex,” what do you try to not think of? If you’re unconvinced, consider the following catch phrase that I’ve seen on a few bumpers and heard a few Christians proclaim: “It’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve!” Or, consider the words of Muslim cleric Sheik Yusuf al-Qaradawi: “Lesbianism is not as bad as homosexuality, in practical terms.”)

Because I’m relatively educated and mostly sensible, I’m going to refer to my world as the “real world.” In the real world, sex is an incredibly dynamic thing. For most adults, including adult fundamentalists, sex is not merely the intersection of pleasure and procreation. It’s a binding of mind, body, and soul. Physical pleasure and pregnancy are consequences of sex, consequences that, incidentally, seem to elude those who seek them.

Christian fundamentalists also believe that induced abortion should be outlawed. If the sperm cell and the egg are God’s design and if that which happens when they are united is God’s will, in no uncertain terms, pregnancy is not a choice. Instead, pregnancy is the fruition of God’s will through the implementation of God’s design. Creating life and furthering their doctrine is a Christian fundamentalist’s ultimate purpose. Anything that merely appears to oppose this lifestyle is part of the secular realm, which is, of course, ruled by Satan.

For Christian fundamentalists and those with whom they are associated, they’re not lying when they say that the Democratic party is “the party of death.” Democratic politicians, the standard political-bearers of contraception and access to induced abortion, are often stereotyped as simply not taking seriously those practices that ensure the survival of the American cohort.

This is where I think fundamentalism begins to appear contradictory while remaining internally consistent. All life is sacred; however, others must die so that we may live. This killing must be done within the framework of God’s word, upon God’s command. The story of Abraham’s near-sacrifice of his son exemplifies this. Importantly, successful killing indicates God’s favor, and God’s favor reinforces this paragon of dominance through destruction.

Of course, the notion that long-term violence ensures long-term survival is not limited to religious fundamentalism. Romantic militarism an important component of nationalism. However, while states rise and fall, deity worship remains the single most important panacea for the cognitive dissonance perpetuated by the inevitable failures of the survival-through-violence myth:

In 1902 the Russian anarchist Petr Kropotkin published a rebuttal to Huxley and Spencer in his book Mutual Aid. Calling out Spencer by phrase, Kropotkin observed: “If we… ask Nature: ‘who are the fittest: those who are continually at war with each other, or those who support one another?’ we at once see that those animals which acquire habits of mutual aid are undoubtedly the fittest.” Since that time science has revealed that species practice both mutual struggle and mutual aid. Darwinism, properly understood, gives us a dual disposition of selfishness and selflessness, competitiveness and cooperativeness.

A Christian feels the love:

Rebecca Hancock told FOXNews.com that Grace Community Church, a non-denominational church in Jacksonville, Fla., was against her relationship with boyfriend Frank Young because the two were sexually active but not married.

When she wasn’t willing to obey the church’s orders to leave him, she decided to leave the church instead, allowing her two children to remain active members.

Now, she says, church elders have given her the worst ultimatum yet: In a Dec. 8 letter, they told her she either has to meet with them and end her “immoral” relationship or she will face public humiliation.

Here’s my advice to her:  Your sex life is your business, so ignore these nutbags. Focus on teaching your children that their actions do not need to be approved by a committee of quidnuncs and high school virgins.

Despite my attitude towards religion, vivid displays of worship move me in an “awe-porn” sort of way. This picture captures Muslims in prayer around the Kaaba in Mecca-a form of worship that appears to be like none other. Despite all of the bad acts mandated by the gods, the pomp and circumstance of the average religious occurrence can be more inspiring than that of the average secular event.

“The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”

- Richard Dawkins

So, there’s this mini-hoopla occurin’ in the blogosphere regarding blogger, terminal atheist, and biologist P.Z. Meyers and his declaration of war against Catholic communion wafers. This paragraph got him in trouble with the Catholic League and, Bill Donohue, its president:

So, what to do. I have an idea. Can anyone out there score me some consecrated communion wafers? There’s no way I can personally get them — my local churches have stakes prepared for me, I’m sure — but if any of you would be willing to do what it takes to get me some, or even one, and mail it to me, I’ll show you sacrilege, gladly, and with much fanfare. I won’t be tempted to hold it hostage (no, not even if I have a choice between returning the Eucharist and watching Bill Donohue kick the pope in the balls, which would apparently be a more humane act than desecrating a goddamned cracker), but will instead treat it with profound disrespect and heinous cracker abuse, all photographed and presented here on the web. I shall do so joyfully and with laughter in my heart. If you can smuggle some out from under the armed guards and grim nuns hovering over your local communion ceremony, just write to me and I’ll send you my home address.

I’ve been a reader of P.Z. Meyers for a year or so and I have a blog so I’m in a great position to judge him. P.Z. is a vastly intelligent and competent biologist. And, because he spends a majority of his posting hours picking on the religious and Republican, lunatic fringe, when it comes to the realities of religion and politics, he has the understanding and impulsiveness of a 2-year-old boy. When the two realities intersect, P.Z. loses all reason and accountability.

Not that I’m sympathetic to the Catholic Church. I’ve handled the communion wafer both before and after the transubstantiation is said to have occurred and there is neither a qualitative nor quantitative difference. At the church, there were older altar boys who would steal bags of unconsecrated wafers. This was a pointless endeavor on their part because the wafers contain no ingredient that provides physical sustenance and have no value outside of the church.

Inside of the church, the consecrated communion wafer is considered the most sacred object the can exist at any point in time. It is believed by some Catholics that the wafer literally becomes the flesh of Jesus Christ. Most who claim Catholic affiliation believe that this occurs in abstract terms. To those who believe in a literal transformation, obtaining and maintaining the privilege to ingest the wafer and participate in Eucharist–a spiritual communion with a god–is a cause worthy of a lifetime of mind, body, and soul devotion. It’s all called “Holy Communion” for a reason.

So, there’s some humor in P.Z.’s surprise at the ferocity with which the church directed its outrage. But, when your identity is fundamentally tied to rituals and esoteric doctrines that predate reason and were systematically copied from Pagan ideologies, your beliefs in what is real and what is unsafe behavior extend far beyond that which P.Z. has defined as being within normal cognitive and behavioral limits.

As such, P.Z. should really watch his back. If you think that the Muslims have a long history of violence against heretics, let me tell you about these things that occurred not long ago in a galaxy not so far away….

Via Andrew Sullivan, the Catholic mental ward also known as the American Life League is, on June 7th, bestowing the nation with “Protest the Pill Day ’08: The Pill Kills Babies” protests that will occur in front of Planned Parenthood buildings and abortion clinics.

Because they’re a Catholic organization (which is synonymous with complete and utter honesty), let’s check they’re claims about the evil things that will happen to the pill taker (also known as the baby murderer):

• Cerebral hemorrhage (bleeding into the cranial cavity)^7,8
  (This one sounds bad.)
• Cerebral thrombosis (blood clot that drains blood from the brain)^7,8
  (This one sounds horrible.)
• Retinal thrombosis (blockage of the central retinal vein that carries blood away from the eye)^7,8
  (Oh. My. God.)
• Thrombophlebitis and venous thrombosis with or without embolism (blood clots in the veins)^4,7,8
  (Alright, this is getting scary.)
• Budd-Chiari Syndrome (closing of the veins that carry deoxygenated blood from the lower half of the body into the heart)^7,8
  (Sweet Jesus! I need salvation!)

But, wait. What do their sources say? Source 4 is a book or booklet or something entitled Infant Homicides through Contraceptives. I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence but you can purchase it for $1.95 from something called CatholicStore.com.

That leaves sources 7 and 8. Again, I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence but they both link to Ortho Tri-Cyclen inserts. Ortho Tri-Cyclen is also known as “the pill.” Source 7 is for regular Ortho Tri-Cyclen and source 8 is for Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo which contains 10 micrograms less estrogen than the standard pill. So, they have, essentially, the same side effects.

But, wait. Side effects? No, not really. Taking “the pill” is associated with an increased risk of developing a condition listed above. A side effect is nausea. Those are adverse reactions. Another adverse reaction is death and death can occur after taking for the first time something as common as Tylenol.

But, wait. What’s that commandment? Number 9? Thou shalt not bear fal… Hmmm, I can’t recall. Anyway, I’m sure it’s not an important one.