I am in no way, shape, or form, amazed at the agreement many viewers have regarding the take away of funding towards public broadcasting. In fact, if America is amazing at anything, it’s the ability to make the smallest, most insignificant sacrifice such a dire cause to the march of freedom that is our nation’s narrative. Oh, you don’t believe me? Then why do we order diet coke when we get the number 4 at McDonalds?

And then there’s the hatred from whoever wrote into Michael Getler. In between Getler’s weekly “I’m-an-ombudsman-I-can’t-have-an-opinion-or-I’ll-lose-the-integrity-that-no-one-notices-or-cares-about” high school paper article, viewers shared with him their frustrations that PBS would stoop to the level of advocating funding for itself, as opposed to allowing others to simply say they suck and accept such critique as fact. You know, the way NPR does it.

But once again, the entertainment of these consequences is too much to withhold me from writing such a wondrous review of the saga. A man, alone, willingly watches programming, and when reminded that the provider of such programming is losing funding and would need their viewer’s support, gets angry at the prospect that the thing he consumes for free is not, in fact, free. It’s as if I’m reading some real life version of The Machinist.

And all of this, for programming that simply legitimizes the narrow ideology between the two parties. No Republican hates a Democrat for a position being held, or vice versa. They hate each other because they are on differing teams, while their positions are fundamentally identical.

A blue-ribbon committee of the National Academy of Sciences is recommending that the Army expand its research into how a soldier’s brain, blood and nerves work so it can develop futuristic applications that can increase performance and survivability in combat.

He was also a bishop (were his victims his pawns?):

His church was called the Greater Faith Tabernacle Church of Deliverance. Incidentally, he came up with the whole church idea after “much prayer and fasting”:

The building required a large renovation that, I’m positive, required “much prayer and fasting”:

Kevin reminds me of Eli, the preacher from There Will Be Blood:

In the final scene, Eli is beaten to death by crazy man with a bowling pin. I’m not advocating that that be done to Kevin, though, I don’t think that prison will be too kind to him.

Pushia, 32, was arrested last week after police said he confessed to having Lemuel Wallace — a blind, disabled man who’d been under his care — shot and killed in February. Wallace’s body was found in a restroom in Leakin Park.

I knew Kevin from the field. Reading the articles, it seems like he owed a lot of money to a lot of people as the developmental disabilities field doesn’t pay well enough to own “several properties”. How he tried to pay his debt is completely fucked.

A nude maid cleaned up good at a Florida man’s home.

The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office says the maid stole more than $40,000 from a Cheval home despite not wearing any clothes.

The 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his suburban Tampa home.

Authorities say the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour.

Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter says the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.

When the man’s wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.

Police are investigating.

Florida’s ABC Action News tracked down the poor wife and reports:

The wife of a man who hired a nude maid to clean their home while she was away is speaking out over the theft of $40,000 worth of jewelry from the residence.

The wife, who asked not to be identified, says she plans to file for divorce. “My mom is very ill so I was away caring for her and when I came back that is what I came back to,” the wife told abcactionnews.com.

She agreed to the interview hoping it will help investigators locate the stolen goods.

Deputies say Kenna DiMartini is a person of interest in connection with the so-called “nude maid” jewelry theft case. The valuables apparently were stolen from the couple’s Cheval home in northwest Hillsborough County while the maid was “cleaning.”

The husband reportedly located the maid through Craigslist and hired her to clean the home while his wife was out of town. It’s believed the maid cleaned out the jewelry while cleaning up the bedroom.

Deputies say the man’s wife discovered her jewelry missing when she returned to her newly spic ‘n span home.

The husband pointed officers to the woman’s web site and provided a physical description of her appearance, minus clothing details.

The wife says she questions whether the “nude maid” actually “cleaned” the home.

“I’m gonna divorce him because I can’t trust him. He violated every core of marriage and trust, ” she said, adding, “I bleached my whole house because she’s been inside my house, and there’s a stain in my heart that bleach is never going to erase.”

So, being a good blogger, I googled Kenna DiMartini and snapped shots of personal pages before they all disappear. She claims she does porn but does not do prostitution. First, Kenna DiMartini’s sexyjobs page:

Second, her myspace page:

Third and fourth, her modelmayhem and modelingcorner pages:

Fifth, Kenna DiMartini’s NSFW dymondstaffing page:

And, finally, I searched the Tampa craigslist for maids and found this listing which might be the “service provider” that the hapless gentleman used:

• Is it Time to Invade Burma? (Link)

  

  (This kid is like “Call me!” not “Invade me!”)

• Report: Fired admiral had sex at White House (Link)

  

  (From the article: “[T]he supervisor told her that ‘everybody in town knew Boomer was f’ing some bimbo[.]‘”)

• Rapper DMX faces animal cruelty, drug charges (Link)

  

  (And this is when you realize that Mr. “‘Cuz I’m tired of runnin’, remember me as the nigga that died gunnin’. Kamakaze mission, C-4 strapped to the chest. Run up in that joint, raw dog, fuck the vest.” is a washed up drug using animal abuser and that thug-rap is a silly commercial for baggy clothes.)

• Judge allegedly napped, made bailiff rub her back (Link)

  

  (From the article: “A shirtless man who answered the door at her home pointed to a “no trespassing” sign and ordered a reporter off the property…She has submitted a report from a therapist who diagnosed her with an adjustment disorder, anxiety and depression. And she produced a letter from her physician, Dr. Michael Jacobs, who said she is diabetic, uses a wheelchair because of arthritis in her feet and knees, and needs oxygen to counteract the effects of sleep apnea.”)

From the article:

Mr. Ortiz said the family’s ordeal began Oct. 19, when his son picked up a bottle of hand sanitizer from the desk of his fifth-period reading teacher at Killian Middle School in Lewisville. He rubbed the gel on his hands and smelled it.

In the view of school officials, the boy “inhaled heavily,” according to Mr. Ortiz, who said his son sniffed the cleanser “because it smelled good.”

The youth was sent to the principal’s office, and the Lewisville police officer assigned to the school began investigating.

“The event happened at the campus,” said Dean Tackett, a spokesman for the Lewisville Independent School District. “But once the police took it over, it was a police investigation. They decide if there are charges and what kind of charges.”

The teen was required to serve a brief in-school suspension and was also fingerprinted and photographed at the Lewisville Police Department.

But it wasn’t over:

Mr. Ortiz said he believed the matter was over until Tuesday when he was served with a petition charging his son with delinquency for inhaling the hand sanitizer to “induce a condition of intoxication, hallucination and elation.”

The frightening paternity and the kicker:

Joni Eddy, assistant police chief in Lewisville, said Friday that hand sanitizer has become a popular inhalant. “That is the latest thing to huff,” she said.

She said officers felt they were acting properly when they pursued the case against Mr. Ortiz’s son under a complex state statute governing volatile chemicals that could be abused.

“The charge said he was using the product other than its intended use,” she said. “Huffing hand sanitizer is certainly using it for something other than its intended use.”

Shirley Simson, a spokeswoman for the National Institute on Drug Abuse in Washington, said in an e-mail that the agency had no data about hand sanitizers being abused as inhalants [emphasis added]. She noted, however, that there have been news reports of some people drinking hand sanitizers for their alcohol content.

The good news is they didn’t pursue the charges:

Mr. Ortiz’s attorney, J. Michael Price II of Dallas, said he believes that the Denton County prosecutor’s office acted quickly to drop the case once he brought the matter to the attention of Ms. Beck on Friday morning.

“I told her I didn’t think a law had been violated,” Mr. Price said. “She made the appropriate decision without a lot of delay.”

More for parents to worry about! If this is a legitimate risk according to school officials, why had they allowed the teacher to have a bottle on her desk? This likely snowballed terribly:  The boy probably did inhale deeply, the principal, who has never gotten high in his life, probably said something to the effect of “We know you kids sniff this stuff to get high,” and the boy, who has never gotten high in his life, somehow indicated agreement. Probably with bloodshot eyes.

Montel Williams showed up in Savannah, Georgia Friday to promote the drug industry’s program to help people afford prescription drugs. By the time he left town, the talk show host had threatened to “blow up” some local reporters, according to the Savannah Morning News.The threat was apparently triggered by the following question, posed by a high school intern working as a reporter: “Do you think pharmaceutical companies would be discouraged from research and development if their profits were restricted?”

Williams, who has multiple sclerosis and is a paid spokesman for the industry’s Partnership for Prescription Assistance, abruptly ended the interview shortly after that question was asked. Later in the day, the reporter went to a local hotel to do a feature on gingerbread houses displayed there. Williams, who was at the hotel for a separate event, believed they had followed him there.

And finally, it reminds us all that Montel is still dangerous after all these years of fame:

According to the reporter and two of her colleagues, Williams approached them and said, “Don’t look at me like that. Do you know who I am? I’m a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up.”

Williams has since issued an apology and offered to apologize to the young reporter during a taping of his show. Ken Johnson, an SVP at the industry trade group PhRMA told the paper it was a “regrettable incident.” Johnson noted that Williams suffers a great deal from MS, but added that “even on bad days bad behavior is not acceptable.”

Complete and total badass. Really though, I’m just using this as an appropriate excuse to post Talking Heads – Psycho Killer. Is there a better theme song for a lanky and socially awkward gangsta? I think not.