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    Will lives in Baltimore, MD, and works as a psychology associate for the Chimes. He spends his workdays writing behavior plans and it's been mentioned once or twice that his hands and office smell of coffee. During his free time, Will is learning everything he forgot to learn in high school and college.

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Scott Brown: The Man, The Myth, The Conqueror, The Teabagger, The Legend »

By Will

Anyone who concludes that the election of Scott Brown is a referendum on national politics is a liar or has never followed politics. No candidate is elected based upon that which he or she could-might-possibly do in the future. A voting person votes for the person with whom he or she most identifies. Candidate Brown was perceived as likable. Candidate Coakley, not so much.

Was she actually likable though? The confounding variable in the election is the Republican Machine™ which can easily transform an opposing candidate into a social outcast. Democrats get themselves elected when Republicans on the whole can be factually and demonstrably shown to be incompetent. Until an election forces the Democrats to distinguish themselves, they’re the left-wing of the Republican party.

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Bonjourrrrrrrrr, yah cheese-eatin’ surrender monkeys! »

By Will

Ryan Sager writes:

Chance a U.S. household that owns a Prius also owns an SUV: 1 in 3.

That’s from the Harper’s Index, October issue, according to Cowen. It would surprise you, if you didn’t read this blog and already know that we’re constantly calculating the trade-off between being able to see ourselves as good people and the cost of engaging in all that non-advantageous goodness.

I’ve never met an SUV owner whose personal sense of self suffered because their “other car” was not a Prius. From my experience, the ownership is based on usefulness: An SUV is useful for comfortably transporting a family of four, a dog, and luggage. Because the Prius is most efficient when stopping-and-going, it’s useful for short distance trips such as running to the food store and taking the kids to the park.

Comfort and headroom are two variables that seem to be disregarded by efficiency-seeking car buyers. So, if you can afford it, why not have the best of both worlds?

(h/t The Daily Dish)

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Punks In The Beerlight »

By Will

I wholeheartedly agree with Radley Balko:

He said something to the effect of, “But you have to respect the office and the institution.”

I don’t see why. Members of Congress sure as hell don’t respect the office or the institution. They regularly pass laws that aren’t authorized by the Constitution. And that’s just the stuff they do proudly. Never mind the corruption, exempting themselves from the laws they pass, pork spending, and . . . the list goes on.

Before the recent elections, I tried to reason with someone that, though candidate Obama may be likable, you should be an opponent of president Obama and of every politician, likable or otherwise. They laughed like a Brit at a tit joke and informed me “Obama’s different.” Hilariously, given Obama’s record of not changing anything, the joke’s on them.

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I’ve Gone Galt in your Closet »

By Will
Culture: I’ve Gone Galt in your Closet

His shirt reads “Gone Galt.” God bless capitalism. Buying shitty, meaningless merchandise is an activity that unites us all.

(h/t Balloon Juice)

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A Message To You Rudy »

By Will

What’s the point, Crispin?

  • No one’s going to burn down the capital.
  • There would be no “anti-state” protests if Obama were a Republican.
  • An orgy is not a movement.
  • You may as well stay home and masturbate because cum on a rag has more of a chance at being productive than a million middle-age white men with anti-Obama signs.
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Funny, it’s not a rose I touch »

By Will

John Cole:

This is not about the terrorists, it is about us. Decent nations don’t torture, they don’t threaten to rape the children of prisoners, they don’t stage mock executions, they don’t waterboard people 200 times in one month. No matter what the stakes.

Let’s not kid ourselves. There’s no such thing as a “decent nation.” I fancy myself a “decent person” but I would kill someone if I thought that my families’ lives depended on it. If faced with the likes of a home-invasion robbery, many “decent people” would do the same. But when one is commissioned to commit violence by his or her nation, he or she cannot help but to do so in absurd and extreme ways.

What is the nation? Its people? Its GDP? Its president? You? Me? The question does not have a single answer so everything must be protected. And if the continued existence of everything depends upon what you do with the hooded man right now, this very second, you’re going to destroy him until he tells you what you want to hear.

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Planning a Trip »

By Will

I need a website that organizes locations and directions intuitively and in a user-friendly way. Yahoo has a trip planner but upon review you discover that it’s just a money-making scheme. The Google Maps “my maps” feature is like every other Google product: workable but barely functional (a generous assessment given that the Google Maps print screen renders my browser unresponsive).

So, for my trip south, I’ve turned to MapQuest which has a crowded interface but seems to get the job done if I break my trip down into multiple maps. Which is great because I plan to stop at the hellish Myrtle Beach, the lovely Charleston, Brookgreen Gardens in Murrells Inlet, and Chincoteague Island. Which is to say, don’t get lost in the South: Even after 4 years in South Carolina, my precious Yankee ears refused to comprehend the townie accent and its colorful colloquiality.

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Tips for Driving During Long Trips »

By Will

I’m heading to Myrtle Beach and Chincoteague Island in August. Now’s a good time for me to dust off my journal and reread my “Tips for Driving During Long Trips” section. Here’s my advice:

  • Have a positive attitude. Nothing can sustain you like looking forward to your destination. Even if you hate where you’re going, think about your destination’s positive during your drive. Make up a positive and fool yourself. You can hate it when you’re there.
  • Don’t get too excited! Your need to sustain your mental energy and your physical energy. Using too much of either over a short period of time hinders your endurance.
  • Don’t count the miles. Don’t count the exits. Don’t count anything. Unless you’re obsessive-compulsive, regardless of your direction, don’t count. Counting is a waste of mental resources that are better spent tending to the white and yellow lines.
  • If you or a passenger has to go, stop! If you or your passenger is hungry or needs to use the bathroom, visit the next acceptable pit stop location. Your body will appreciate the break and the opportunity to stretch.
  • Smoke cigarettes or consume caffeine regularly. Or, do both! But, whatever your stimulant of choice, ensure that it enters your body moderately and steadily.
  • Stay awake! Cold air and melodic music may help. Music to which you can sing along is especially helpful. But, if nothing’s keeping your eyes open…
  • If you’re too tired to keep driving, find a place to sleep. I can’t stress this enough. Driving when mentally and physically fatigued is worse than driving drunk. At least when you’re drunk, the sober voice in the back of your head can guide you. The one time I became fatigued when driving, it hit me before I was fully aware of its presence. I couldn’t turn my head and my eyes were so blurry that I could barely tell color from gray. I could have killed someone easily.
  • People do strange things out there. Don’t lose your cool. During one trip, a van followed me and matched my speed throughout most of Virginia. It freaked me out a little! After speeding up and slowing down a few times, I figured that he was more than likely grifting off of me (following behind me so that I’d be the one to receive the speeding ticket). I finally ended his pursuit by changing to an empty lane and slamming on my brakes. To my relief, he passed me and found someone else to follow.
  • If a lane is closing and there’s a long back up, change to the lane that is closing and keep speed with the car that was previously in front of you. This move will prevent all those assholes behind you from clogging-up the point at which the lane closes and will significantly decrease your wait time. The absolute last thing you want to have happen during an already long trip is to sit in traffic for an extra hour or two or three.
  • Plan ahead as much as possible. Fun surprises like a birthday cake and a phone call from old friends are good. Anxious-producing surprises like a “Check Engine” notice and a mysterious squeal are bad.
  • Finally, stock-up on snack and drinks. For dinner or a late-night meal, stop at Cracker Barrel – their meatloaf and mashed potatoes meal is great!
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What I’m Reading Today »

By Will
Blogasms: What I’m Reading Today
  • Benson and Stangroom note: “Religion doesn’t necessarily originate ideas about female subordination, but it lends them a penumbra of righteousness, and it makes them ‘sacred’ and thus a matter for outrage if anyone disputes them.” Does God Hate Women?, New Statesman
  • Feminist misinformation is pervasive. In their eye-opening book…Daphne Patai and Noretta Koertge describe the “sea of propaganda” that overwhelms the contemporary feminist classroom. The formidable Christine Rosen (formerly Stolba), in her 2002 report on the five leading women’s-studies textbooks, found them rife with falsehoods, half-truths, and “deliberately misleading sisterly sophistries.” Persistent Myths in Feminist Scholarship, Christina Hoff Sommers
  • “I don’t care that he’s a soccer star…and I’m a nobody,” the statement says. “Eric Frimpong ruined my life.” The story of prisoner F95488, ESPN The Magazine
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Advice to Would-Be Adulterers »

By Will

Steven McNair’s murder should be a lesson to all men: If you have to go there, don’t have an affair with a woman under 35. Teenagers and girls in their early 20’s are especially off-limits. Ssince the restaurant industry runs on after-hours sex, having an affair with a waitress is fine. Giving gifts and making promises regarding divorce are not fine.

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