School House Rock

I want to take a minute to explain how much I find the use of acronyms to be detrimental. Key emphasis on the "mental" part.

First, I remember many years ago when I was lucky enough to be in the housing industry (look at me, mom, I'm riding a wave), I called one of the higher-ups in middle management.  I told him that our division was closer to getting one more settlement for the last day of the month, but we weren't sure because the deck plans weren't ready.  (We were going to build these nice people a deck for their home, as part of the deal.)  I then said, "But I'm not really worried about it."  To which, he replied, "Well, I'm glad you feel that way," with such condescension and anger so as to wonder how Judy Miller is still a professional reporter in this world.

I had no idea what the hell happened.  I said, "Uh, okay," and hung up the phone.  As it turns out, Mr. Middle Manager thought I meant DEC plans, as in, declaration plans, which is something that is needed legally to pretend that you own something when in fact it's in fact really the government's.  But hey, that's another story.  I found out the disconnect five minutes later when I asked my boss about it, after which, I replied, "Well shit, I can't tell him I was talking about something completely different now."

In another world, the world of "reality," acronyms are fucking my shit up all day long.  They're used not to make something shorter, but to take away the meaning of what's being said.  My latest favorite: DTF - Down to Fuck.  Just writing it pains my heart.  Making that an acronym takes away the fucking force (see what I did there?) of the action.

Apart from that, being an acronym from a reality show makes it a fad and cultural reference.  Now, being Down to Fuck isn't about having a liberal (and I don't mean that politically, Joe Biden) sex life, but now we're fucking for the sake that we're part of a cultural reference to a show.  That's kind of like eating cheesecake because it's your 10th favorite author's favorite dish, despite the fact that you really don't care if you have it, or not.

Here's where the rubber meets the road, and what changes the tone of this: if people are doing what they want (fucking for fuck's sake, which is perfectly okay; just not my style, as it were), then that's fine.  But if they're doing this as a way to be part of some awkward reality TV social fad, then maybe we all deserve to be duped.  I just pray they're not using a reality TV show acronym to justify something that doesn't need to be justified between consenting adults.


As an aside, I'm secretly hoping to catch a clip of the Jersey Shore where Mike asks if a girl is DTF only to have her retort in inquisition if he is, "Down with Jesus?"  Hilarity ensues, roll credits, give me my Emmy.


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