The Nappy Cat Chronicles

If you believe, like I do, that an entity’s essential purpose is to assure its continued survival, the following should not surprise you:

I

This plot was manufactured and facilitated by the FBI. As cover, the FBI recruited three men: one megalomaniac, one psychotic, and one dumbass:

David Williams, who lately had grown a beard and taken to reading the Koran on slow nights at a steakhouse job, was described as particularly violent by prosecutors on Thursday. When the plan to buy guns from a woman in Newburgh fell through, it was David Williams who quickly improvised, arranging to buy a gun from a man he described as a “supreme Blood gang leader” in Brooklyn, Mr. Snyder said. After buying the gun in the company of the informant, David Williams said he would have shot the gang leader if he were alone with him, and kept his $700.

Mr. Payen, described as a nervous, quiet sort who took medication for schizophrenia or a bi-polar disorder, was unemployed and living in squalor in Newburgh. His last arrest, in 2002, was for assault, after he drove around the Rockland County village of Monsey, firing a BB gun out of the window — striking two teens — and snatching two purses. A friend who visited Mr. Payen’s apartment on Thursday said it contained bottles of urine, and raw chicken on the stovetop.

Onta Williams had been addicted to cocaine since he was a teenager, according to his lawyer, Sol Lesser, at his sentencing in 2003. Mr. Cromitie has spent 12 years in prison, most recently for selling drugs to undercover officers behind a school.

It doesn’t matter that there’s no way in hell these guys could have obtained surface-to-air missiles without FBI assistance. All that matters is that the government has prevented another act of terrorism. These guys are legends now, though not in the way they had intended.

II

The FDA doesn’t want you getting your nicotine fix from electronic cigarettes. In fact, when the FDA is cleared to regulate tobacco products, products that are not made and endorsed by “big tobacco” will become illegal. This quote says it all:

“Our goal, under the federal regulation, would be to design the best products we can for someone who wants to enjoy tobacco without the health risks,” said company spokesman William Phelps. Other manufacturers oppose the legislation.

Tobacco connoisseurs are pipe smokers. Chewers and cigarette smokers are nicotine junkies. You can’t “enjoy” tobacco “without the health risks.” You can enjoy nicotine without the health risks of tobacco. But, that’s not the point. While the current manufacturers of tobacco products continue to operate, the FDA will thwart yet another Chinese attempt to compete at killing us all.