The Living Room

I remember many years ago when Jude was coming out with his first major release, he discussed how Maverick Records felt about signing him.  Jude explained, in an interview, that the label’s idea was something analogous to, “If we could just get this guy into people’s living rooms, they would fall in love him.”

For Jude, his music career has been accomplished, however with many road bumps along the way.   And even taking his accomplishments into account, super stardom has not come his way.

I have come to find that some facets of our lives can be defined in similar terms.  Almost all new relationships are invitations where, depending on the intimacy, souls are laid bare, and value of each other’s company is judged.

Over time, I have developed a paradigm of self worth where I, much like Maverick Records, thought that if I were simply given the time of making a full impression (i.e. allowed into the proverbial living room of one’s mind) then certainly everyone would fall in love with me.

While that paradigm allows for a good bit of self confidence, the problem occurs when things don’t go the way you hope.  So, you (I) end up wondering if a full impression was ever made.  Soon, you might feel that you should try again, as if someone didn’t see the right version of you the first time.  Think of exes who still try to win you back.

Unfortunately though, people will see what they want to see in others.  The chances are great that whatever impressions you’ve made and feelings you have shown will stay typecast and projected from others on to you.

While I don’t have any real advice for when this happens, I hope that understanding that it happens will help others gain some perspective in their relationships.  The real hope lies in continuing to be able to define yourself, and not let others do it for you.


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