For Bobby and Dani
The following is the statement I gave at my friend's wedding:
I am very pleased to be here today. I have a few points I'd like to to tell you all that Bobby and Dani have helped me realize as of late. Such is the burden of an economist; several bits of minutia and data points, which won't tell me what's going to happen in the future, only what's happened in the past.
I once had a conversation with a friend of me and Bobby's on the topic of love; the topic that brings us here today to celebrate the union between Bobby and Dani. He was explaining to me that love is, essentially, a mystical, foreign object, which comes upon us by happenstance. But here, today, I can't admit to that.
To believe in love as happenstance makes love available only to those who have an inside line to Cupid, or some other mystical figure. But that friend of ours listens to Celine Dion with fervor. So, really, what else could I expect from him. We can't blame him. I tried to see what he was talking about, so I started listening to Celine Dion, and after crying for 35 minutes straight, I decided that he was still wrong.
You see, if real love is mystical, then that still does not help an economist like me understand it. So, I look to those that practice it. I look to Bobby and Dani. I found that real love is action; as opposed to a state of emotions.
To drive the point home, just think about the reason why we miss someone when they are away. Love takes two individuals who find their lives completed, complemented, and supplanted by each other. The mind learns an entire new way of working when you love someone. When you love someone, love is the encompassment of all the actions you do for each other.
Our actions of love towards each other can help teach us more about ourselves. These actions of caring, sacrifice, and trust, are what really make love. Love does not just fall out of the sky. The bond that two people can make and that Bobby and Dani are showing us here today shows us all the wonderful potential that we have within ourselves to make great things happen out of our compassion.
Bobby and Dani have also taught me that while it is inevitable to have regrets in life, we have it within ourselves to avoid the larger regrets of our lives.
A while back I was asked if I had any regrets with girls that I asked out, or other rejections in my life. While as a younger man I would have regretted my horrific lack at suave and debonaire charm, I realize now that my lack of womanizing wasn't really the proper regret. In reality, I regret that we live in a society where the social system relies on a variation of the prisoner's dilemma, or game theory.
For those that don't know, the theory states that in our own selfish nature, we rat each other out for personal gain. Whereby, if collude and work together, we can reach a better solution for all. At its core, I worry that our social lives lead us down that very same dilemma. And I regret that we can't be honest with each other whenever we want. That we put walls and defense mechanisms to shield our emotions from one another is a regret.
But this is different. Today is different. Bobby and Dani have shown me what it's like to overcome our fears and live without regret.
To see my two friends here put their trust in each other is an absolute joyous time for me, and I hope for all of you as well. What Bobby and Dani have done is quite amazing. They did not just find love - they found each other. Congratulations to my friends. I wish you the best that the both of you most assuredly deserve.