Turn On Your LovelightStormbringerSevere Storm TwoJamA Day Without BloodFire WallPrint 3Drawing OneGuitarsNighttime On River CityGrassflatsNew York PathMeteorsIcevineDeep In The WoodsPrint 2Green LandRapids OneU!Feel Like A Stranger

April Fool’s Day came and went and I can’t praise my April line-up enough. There’s a lot of feel-good rock tracks, some enjoyable electronica tracks, one funk track, and one Santogold track.

(Click the arrow after each track for more info.)

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If you needed more proof that our narcissistic society is out of with itself in terms of love and intimacy, look no further:

Edie says the parties which are held around the country and in our area are meant to help people achieve better intimacy, and communication. And it allows people to express themselves in a comfortable and safe environment.

There’s snuggling, nuzzling and even spooning. But not everyone’s ready for a group hug right away since you may not know everyone. So to get comfortable there are a few steps to start with.

The first step, whether you’re with a partner or by yourself, is to sit and chat in a welcome circle. You hear the rules which include asking permission and getting a verbal yes before you touch anybody. And if everyone agrees to all of the rules, the cuddling begins.

“I love experiencing the feelings that come up when you connect with each individual person,” said cuddle party-goer Linda Hunter at a recent Phoenixville party.

Ellen R. Malcolm is very white. She has written this article which is a collection of universal platitudes and stereotypes that can be applied to any non-white-non-male politician. This is what she could have written if she was an Obama supporter and Clinton was first in all categories (you should read her original first):

When I was growing up in the 1960s, I wanted to be considered equal to white citizens. In those days, the rules said that black people were not equal to white people. To make sure that we followed the rules, there were lynchings, killings, burnings, beatings, and assassinations. It’s a wonder our activist brethren could stay alive.

It’s remarkable that my generation of black people entered the workforce and began to compete in business, politics and the hurly-burly of life outside the home. How did we ever learn to locate, much less channel, our competitive instincts in a world that made us subordinate and assumed that we would be content as three fifths. It’s a tremendous tribute to black people of my generation that we sucked it up and learned to compete in the toughest environments.

Which brings us to Barack Obama running for president. This brilliant man believes that he can compete for the most powerful office in the world. He believes that he can do a better job than any of the white people running to lead our country through these challenging times. And millions of Americans, women and men, believe that she is correct.

Yet over and over again the media and his opponents have claimed that he is defeated — it’s over, he can’t win, he’s a loser. And over and over again — in Iowa, in Alabama and Georgia, in Mississippi and Vermont last month, and in North Carolina this week — black voters poured out of their homes to cast their ballots for him. They know that a black man can compete, and they want to make sure that black men, especially this black man, can win.

It’s not surprising that low-income working black people are the cornerstone of Obama’s success. Many of these black people live on the edge of disaster. A pink slip, a family member’s illness, a parent who can no longer work, no family car or rent that goes up — all are threats that could devastate the family. And yet these black people do what black people have done for ages. They put on a confident face, feed their children breakfast and get them off to school. They don’t quit. They suck it up and fight back against whatever life throws their way.

They see in Barack Obama a candidate who understands the pressures they face. As they watch him tough it out against all odds, refusing to quit and continuing to compete against whatever the media and his opponents throw his way, they see a black man as tough and resilient as they are. They clearly want him to win. His victory, I believe, is their victory.

So here we are in the fourth quarter of the nominating process and the game is too close to call. Once again, the opponents and the media are calling for Obama to quit. The first black man ever to win a presidential primary as a national contender is supposed to stop competing, to tip his hat and exit stage right.

Why on earth should one candidate quit before the contest is finished? Democrats need not be so fainthearted. Both of the party’s remaining candidates have raised tens of millions of dollars. Both have the respect of Democrats nationwide. Each has a progressive agenda that stands in stark contrast to Sen. John McCain and his adherence to Bush administration policies.

So why are some Democrats so afraid? We simply need to count every vote, let the remaining states have their say and see the process through to its conclusion.

Barack Obama certainly has the right to compete till the end. But I believe Obama also has a responsibility to play the game to its conclusion. For the black people of my generation who learned to find and channel their competitiveness, for the working black people who never falter in the face of pressure, for the younger black people who still believe they can do anything, Obama is a champion. He’s shown us over and over that winners never quit and that quitters never win. We’ll cheer him on until the game is over. And we hope that when the final whistle blows, we will have elected the first black president and the best president our country has ever had.

Neat, huh?

Hilarious.

For your enjoyment, four great CNN articles:

  • Is it Time to Invade Burma? (Link)

    (This kid is like “Call me!” not “Invade me!”)

  • Report: Fired admiral had sex at White House (Link)

    (From the article: “[T]he supervisor told her that ‘everybody in town knew Boomer was f’ing some bimbo[.]‘”)

  • Rapper DMX faces animal cruelty, drug charges (Link)

    (And this is when you realize that Mr. “‘Cuz I’m tired of runnin’, remember me as the nigga that died gunnin’. Kamakaze mission, C-4 strapped to the chest. Run up in that joint, raw dog, fuck the vest.” is a washed up drug using animal abuser and that thug-rap is a silly commercial for baggy clothes.)

  • Judge allegedly napped, made bailiff rub her back (Link)

    (From the article: “A shirtless man who answered the door at her home pointed to a “no trespassing” sign and ordered a reporter off the property…She has submitted a report from a therapist who diagnosed her with an adjustment disorder, anxiety and depression. And she produced a letter from her physician, Dr. Michael Jacobs, who said she is diabetic, uses a wheelchair because of arthritis in her feet and knees, and needs oxygen to counteract the effects of sleep apnea.”)

Via Andrew Sullivan, the Catholic mental ward also known as the American Life League is, on June 7th, bestowing the nation with “Protest the Pill Day ‘08: The Pill Kills Babies” protests that will occur in front of Planned Parenthood buildings and abortion clinics.

Because they’re a Catholic organization (which is synonymous with complete and utter honesty), let’s check they’re claims about the evil things that will happen to the pill taker (also known as the baby murderer):

  • Cerebral hemorrhage (bleeding into the cranial cavity)7,8
    (This one sounds bad.)
  • Cerebral thrombosis (blood clot that drains blood from the brain)7,8
    (This one sounds horrible.)
  • Retinal thrombosis (blockage of the central retinal vein that carries blood away from the eye)7,8
    (Oh. My. God.)
  • Thrombophlebitis and venous thrombosis with or without embolism (blood clots in the veins)4,7,8
    (Alright, this is getting scary.)
  • Budd-Chiari Syndrome (closing of the veins that carry deoxygenated blood from the lower half of the body into the heart)7,8
    (Sweet Jesus! I need salvation!)

But, wait. What do their sources say? Source 4 is a book or booklet or something entitled Infant Homicides through Contraceptives. I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence but you can purchase it for $1.95 from something called CatholicStore.com.

That leaves sources 7 and 8. Again, I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence but they both link to Ortho Tri-Cyclen inserts. Ortho Tri-Cyclen is also known as “the pill.” Source 7 is for regular Ortho Tri-Cyclen and source 8 is for Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo which contains 10 micrograms less estrogen than the standard pill. So, they have, essentially, the same side effects.

But, wait. Side effects? No, not really. Taking “the pill” is associated with an increased risk of developing a condition listed above. A side effect is nausea. Those are adverse reactions. Another adverse reaction is death and death can occur after taking for the first time something as common as Tylenol.

But, wait. What’s that commandment? Number 9? Thou shalt not bear fal… Hmmm, I can’t recall. Anyway, I’m sure it’s not an important one.

A shifting definition of winning. Who else has changed the definition of winning when the old definition became politically unsuitable? From now on, I’m going to refer to Hillary as Bullary. This combines Bush (or Bullshit) and Hillary and helps describe that slimy stench you smell each time she adopts an upcoming primary state’s accent.

So, some dickhead member of Gaia Online, username Blseodn, just charged $200 to my bank account via my PayPal account. It appears that Gaia Online is some sort of “online community” for gullible teenagers.

What did Blseodn purchase with my $200? 20,000 Gaia dollars.

I’ve filed an unauthorized activity claim with PayPal, changed my password, and updated my phone number to my cell phone number. Hopefully, there won’t be much of a dispute on the part of Gaia Online. I’ll keep it posted.

I swear I did not read this Weekly Standard article before posting this. From the article (via Andrew Sullivan):

And what caused this display of intense irritation? She’s running a right-wing campaign. She’s running the classic Republican race against her opponent, running on toughness and use-of-force issues[.]

And better–or worse–she is becoming a social conservative, a feminist form of George Bush. Against an opponent who shops for arugula, hangs out with ex-Weathermen, and says rural residents cling to guns and to God in unenlightened despair at their circumstances, she has rushed to the defense of religion and firearms, while knocking back shots of Crown Royal and beer. Her harsh, football-playing Republican father (the villain of the piece, against whom she rebelled in earlier takes on her story) has become a role model, a working class hero, whose name she evokes with great reverence. Any day now, she’ll start talking Texan, and cutting the brush out in Chappaqua or at her posh mansion on Embassy Row.

From Talking Points Memo:

Hillary Clinton has just started doing an Indiana town-hall meeting being broadcast on ABC, and George Stephanopoulos asked her a direct question:

Could she name a single economist who agrees with her support for the gas tax holiday?

Hillary sidestepped the question, and tried to use the complete dearth of expert support for the idea to her advantage, pointing to it as proof that she’s on the side of ordinary folks against “elite opinion” — a phrase she used twice.

“I think we’ve been for the last seven years seeing a tremendous amount of government power and elite opinion behind policies that haven’t worked well for hard working Americans,” she said.

A bit later she added: “It’s really odd to me that arguing to give relief to a vast majority of Americans creates this incredible pushback…Elite opinion is always on the side of doing things that don’t benefit” the vast majority of the American people.

Emphasis mine. If you had any doubt that this woman is Bush 43 redux–an insufferable and delusional jackass with a widely recognized last name–you should not after reading her above statements. It’s politics, yes. But a stone’s throw beyond using “elite opinion” is the adoption of the the O’Reilly tactic of referring to everyone with whom you disagree as “far left.” Though, since she is running as a Republican, characterizing Obama as “far left” would be her at her most honest.

Marc Ambinder:

Well, now McCain is part of that discussion. And it’s a dangerous place for him to be, what with Rev. John Hagee’s anti-gay remarks (curiously unremarked upon by anyone in the McCain campaign — is the McCain campaign afraid to repudiate anti-gay remarks?), his anti-Catholic remarks (once condemned by McCain, but now McCain wants to give Hagee the benefit of the doubt)?, his millennialism (which means, as some honest McCain adviser must have explained to the candidate by now, the death of millions of innocent Muslims)… also: Jerry Falwell, and his casual association of 9/11 with the sins of homosexuality, and Rod Parsley, a man who McCain has called a “spiritual guide,” a man who has also called Islam a “false religion” and has advocated war against it and various other bad things.

Why are these folks entitled to these opinions and Wright isn’t entitled to his?

Dear Marc,

Because important White Christians hate fagots, towel-heads, and fiery niggers.

Try thinking harder next time,

Will

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