Please. Pass The A1 And Shake Well.

I was at work one recent day when I felt the strong urge to be more manly. It is a strange feeling for us guys to have, but it does happen. And, as strong of a feeling it was, I can honestly say that I have no idea on how it came to me. Sure, most of us guys wonder what it would be like to be in the Strongest Man Contest with the ability to toss fifteen grand pianos into the third story of a three-story building in less than a minute and half. And it was not like I was not moving large pieces of furniture at my job, but I had the feeling. So I decided to do the next simple best thing and went to the grocery store to buy BEEF! You were expecting beer, weren't you?

Ah, yes! Beef! There is nothing as manly as eating murder, as Dennis Leary once put it. Since the near beginning of time, man has enjoyed eating meat. Back in the day, men would go out in hunting parties to make absurd noises, talk about hunting, and making up stories to tell their wives who didn't care, until a deer would come long and they would stone it to death. This was before beer and guns. Of course, with the changing times, the modern world, and the Gaming Commission, men, these days, have to settle for places like the grocery store. This has a lot to do with the fact that we can no longer shoot and kill the squirrels tearing at the bird feeders or the cute little cuddly rabbits in the backyard because of a certain group of people we will not mention. I am not walking into that or the animal rights groups.

Fortunately, though, there is hope for us guys. With the invention of grilling like primitive cave beasts and watching the game, the beef market supplies all of our manly needs in the local grocery store such as The Price Chopper, which could certainly be a group of wild beastly men with hatchets! At least, we could imagine this. So I went to the local Beef Department to look at all of the beef that is wrapped in plastic to prevent us guys from cooking it on the spot. I got myself a T-bone steak, the most manly one, and took it to the register to check out.

But something hit me! As I turned around to see what it could have been, I realized that I was missing a key element to my feast. That is right! A1 Sauce! I have not had A1 Sauce in a long time, but it is the perfect thing to have. The A1 Sauce, sometimes confused with A-1-A, a road in Florida and in many Jimmy Buffett songs, was the perfect steak sauce for anything. I should be getting a check for this advertisement any day now. This stuff goes way back into Skibicki History in Tampa, FL. As another hot great night in Florida, my dad did the great routine of grilling steak. And with the steak, we always had the A1 Sauce on the table. There were two reasons for this. One, it was a great thing to read on the table when you had nothing to say. Two, my brother and I were at a younger age where the taste buds rejected anything unless it was candy.

But over the years, my taste buds began to die off, and the A1 Sauce seemed to slowly lose it's place on the dinner table. This is the sad part. But whenever it did show up, it bought up great dinner memories such as where is the expiration date on this sauce? We had an A1 bottle for at least eleven years, and it was still good. Also, was the discovery that the bottle said to "Shake well". And with the manliness of age and corniness, my dad would always "shake well" in his seat, because it was A1, and it said too! Maybe, this is why it slowly disappeared over the years.

Either way, with the A1 Sauce and my beef, I must say that Dennis Leary was right! Murder is that good! I feel manly already! Now, if I could only bench-press a Yugo?


P.S. What was that other sauce that actually said "Shake the Bottle" As if anyone would shake something else!


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