The Nappy Cat Chronicles

Yes, it was another day of a lack of motivation to go out that got me to download the wonderful game of Bejeweled off the internet. Why not, right? It is addictive. It may have not have happened to me, if the people of New York were a little nicer, but what can you do? So I downloaded it, and have been playing everyday. Some people use cocaine, some people gamble, and I play Bejeweled! But it is not my fault completely. The Game Industry has recently in the last few years brought us to the point where there are two types of game categories: Complex games that are realistic to the point that you can shoot terrorists and pay your taxes and games that involve no thought. Bejeweled is one that involves no thought. It is a good thing to some sense. I paid some bills the other day, and completely forgot that I did so after one round of Bejeweled. I just hope I don’t forget where I live!

But I must admit that the games of today are getting too complex. I bought the game The Sims when I was in Myrtle Beach, because I thought it would be fun. It is to some degree. I think the worse part of the game is when you forget to put it on an easier setting. I found out the hard way that none of my Sims were potty trained. So you have to train them, which seems a little sick for a game. It is just as bad as when toy companies introduced the Potty Baby for little girls across America. Who really wants a doll that pees. Don’t answer that! But in the end, it was a let down, because I imagined creating a Sim that represented my boss and having him walk off a cliff. This cannot happen on this game due to the fact that it must take place in the Midwest. Question for you Sims players: Did you notice that there was a lot of Army jobs on that game? Be all you can be!

Of course, still to this day, I love Grand Theft Auto III. For most of us guys, it was a dream come true. Where else can you better have your “what if” scenarios of pure violence? Really, as much as parents hate this game, the best reason to play this game is road rage. At work, I had to set up all of these classes in the store’s auditorium. Most of them were for defensive driving classes, which I think is a big mistake. Let us take Highway 285 loop around Atlanta for example. The speed limit is suppose to be 65 mph. This appears the be the problem. In Atlanta, locals tend to drive 70 to 95 mph on the 285 Loop (this includes the Atlanta Police Department). The defensive driver/tourist goes 55 mph. Then, they wonder why they get hit in the rear, because we all know that they pick the left two lanes instead to the right like they are suppose to. Maybe, we could just be okay with Grand theft Auto a little?

I realize today that I might really like Bejeweled so much is based on it simple 2-D qualities. Whatever happened to 2-D video games? They killed Mario Brothers with 3-D. What fun is that? That is why one of the greatest video games is still Mario Brothers 3. Either way, I am going to get back to Bejeweled. I will write to you all again, if I remember you.

Skibicki

Many libertarians are basically conservatives who are either gay or druggies or people who generally find the conservative moral agenda too restrictive. So they flee from the conservative to the libertarian camp where much wider parameters of personal behavior are embraced. To the sensible idea of political and economic freedom many libertarians add the more controversial principle of moral freedom, the freedom to live however you want as long as you don’t harm others.

…

So here we see another portrait of Atheist Christmas: bitter guys making sophomoric jokes and staggering out of the room inebriated.

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Yes, I agree that many nominal Christians have also forgotten the message of Christmas. Even so I wonder: what’s the atheist equivalent of Christmas? Darwin’s birthday? For many libertarians I suppose it’s the day they get their tax refunds.

I’m occasionally frustrated by how easily an educated moron like Dinesh D’Souza finds a pulpit. I feel bad when I realize that his purpose is to generate buzz for himself and that I’m aiding this. But then I feel even worse when I realize that something like 80% of his readership finds him intellectually insightful and exciting.

Dinesh can always hop on the “I have diplomas” bandwagon when challenged. But, because morality to him is a negative authoritarian abstraction, he will always be wrong. And, if he’s right, they’ll be right for all the wrong reasons.

For me, an atheist, my christmas is Christmas. I celebrate this holiday on this day because it’s when the people that I know and like get to have off from work. The name of this holiday and the Constantinian-Christian origins of its name don’t mean a goddamn thing to me.

Dinesh’s sophomoric critiques of libertarianism are oddly placed. It’s as if he wanted be sure that he had hammered away at every nail before he headed home for Christmas. Regarding these, I have only two clarifications: First, the pursuit of personal gratification and happiness is not controversial. Everyone does it. We do it all of the time. And, second, a tax refund is not a cause for celebration. Throughout the year, the government overcharges you in order to increase revenue through interest. If you qualify, you get back what’s been fleeced. Hence, refund.

Anyway. Merry Christmas everyone. And, if you think your gifts suck this year, remember, nothing sucks like receiving windshield de-icer when you don’t have a car and attend college in South Carolina.

Slate has posted a great list of questions unanswered in 2007. They range from head scratching to stupendously stupid. The questions for which would like the questioner to suffer in silence without an answer include:

Why do male ice skaters have routines that are so feminine in execution? After all these years, there should be some kind of movements on ice that would be more masculine-looking. The gymnastics shows have them.

Mitt Romney is running for president. His father, George Romney, a former governor of Michigan, ran for president in 1968. Is “Mitt” named for the mitten-shape of Michigan?

How often are presidents born, and how often do they die? Do they die in bunches, or on average every four years?

The questions that I would like answered include:

When a fly lands on a ceiling, does it execute a barrel roll or an inside loop?

What would happen to the rest of the planets and the sun if Jupiter were to explode, or somehow leave our galaxy altogether?

Can dogs be mentally retarded?

Why don’t we drop medical waste and nuclear waste into active volcanoes, the “ultimate high-temperature incinerators”?

But the one question that not only deserves an answer but also deserves a single round of applause and a cookie is:

Is it “open sees me” or “open says me”?

National Treasure: Book of Secrets stars Nicholas Cage as Ben Gates, Justin Bartha as Riley Poole (Ben Gates’ sidekick), Diane Kruger as Abigail Chase (Ben Gates’ sidekick and romantic interest), Jon Voight as Patrick Gates (Ben Gates’ father), Helen Mirren as Emily Appleton (Ben Gates’ mother), Ed Harris as Mitch Wilkinson (Ben Gates’ antagonist), and Bruce Greenwood as the President of the United States. Also, Harvey Keitel returns as FBI Agent Sadusky.

***** Warning: Major Spoilers Ahead *****

At the beginning of the movie, the Gates learn that Patrick Gates’ grandfather may have been involved in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Ben Gates immediately swears to clear his great-grandfather’s name. Incidentally, this means finding the lost City of Gold. The mysterious Wilkinson is also on the hunt for the lost city and it’s immediately clear that he’s using Ben to further his quest.

Unlike the first, the puzzles and clues that lead the crew to the lost city are secondary to the plot. National Treasure: Book of Secrets is more action adventure and less riddle solving. Unfortunately, it’s not good even the good sort of Indiana Jones style action adventure. It seems as though they filmed a series of disparate scenes at majestic locations and pieced them together in a style reminiscent of Garden State and Ocean’s 12.

The actors moved from location to location with such ease that there was no sense of urgency. The first National Treasure makes you believe that there was something big at stake. The second does not. As such, I found myself not caring. Even when the luck and life challenged Riley Poole did or said something comedic, I didn’t laugh. Comedy of that sort needs tension to cut through and there was no tension.

Eventually, the crew finds the City of Gold and Wilkinson dies saving everyone else in a dramatic scene. I am apathetic regarding Wilkinson’s death. Although you learn that the conspirators’ diary had been in his family for generations, you never learn what drives him to take the extraordinary measures of kidnapping and threatening to kill the Gates family. This makes Wilkinson’s sacrifice less redeeming than it should be.

I give National Treasure: Book of Secrets a 2 out of 5. Ultimately, the movie’s big budget created more than a few well choreographed and expensive scenes. However, it created neither the fun nor entertainment of the toned down and “roughing it” aspects of the first.

The first is a great “news photos of the year” list from news.com.au. A word of caution: More than a few of the images are graphic and at least one contains a horde of brides competitively eating cake.

The second is from doubleviking.com (which is some sort of internet amalgamation of The Man Show and Maxim Magazine) and is a list of the nine worst movies of 2007. Thankfully, I had, for most of the year, completely forgotten that Jim Carrey’s The Number 23 came out this year.

The Huckabee family [insert gerund here] their [insert sarcasm here].

Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee is in the news again. If it’s not clear from the stripes and elbow patches, Huckabee is a very very gullible man when it comes to faith and decisions made in faith. Andrew Sullivan has a good post on the matter of faith in politics. He writes:

[I]n a secular society, it is vital that when making the argument for your position in public, you do not deploy arguments that depend on or invoke religiously-revealed truths. The essential civic discipline in a pluralist democracy is to translate your religious convictions into moral arguments - arguments that can persuade and engage people of all faiths or none. Only a few secularist extremists are saying that people’s politics should not be informed in any way by religious faith (an impossibility in any case); most of us anti-Christianists are saying rather that political arguments should not be made on explicitly religious grounds, and political parties should not be allying themselves explicitly with one religion or another.

I’d like to add a third point to his last argument. Since it’s obvious that Americans will, on occasion (and sometimes twice), elect a whack job, the way in which a presidential candidate’s faith informs his (or her!) decisions must be considered by those who consider such things.

President Bush, for example, has a very substandard, immature, and ill-informed type of faith. He believes that his god will provide as long as he is doing his god’s work. He believes that his god is infinite and can provide indefinitely; so, he believes that his country’s capacity is infinite. Subsequently, Bush has made horrendously cavalier and reckless decisions. Compounding those decisions is the message that is intrinsic to his faith: Doing God’s work means never turning back.

Another type of faith is more thoughtful, soulful, and quiet. It allows the individual to agonize over and rethink decisions. It recognizes that Jesus didn’t hop on the cross and yell out “Beam me up, Daddy!” It’s a powerful type of faith that I could get behind even if the decisions made were the same as those decisions made in type of faith referenced in the former.

EVERYWHERE I LOOK, ON TV IN SCHOOL EVERYWHERE BUT IN CHURCH ALL I SEE IS GAY THIS, GAY RIGHTS THAT OPEN DISPLAYS OF THIER LIFESTYLE BEING PUSHED DOWN OUR THROATS, I KNOW THAT JESUS LOVES THE SINNER BUT HATES THE SIN, IT JUST APEARS THAT, THAT SIN IS BEING THRUST UPON US IS THERE NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE, IS THIS WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO, SODOMITES RUNNING AROUND, OPENLY PROMOTING THIER LIFESTYLE, GAY MARRIAGE, GAY PASTORS, GAY CHURCHES, ITS LIKE GETTING OUT OF CONTROL, AND ITS VERY SAD TO SEE THIS DAY COME TO LIGHT, AND THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
THATS THE SADDEST THING EVER

Dear Disciple4Christ,

Most straight people like gay people and want them to have healthy relationships. And most people (gay, straight, or otherwise) don’t spend most of their time thinking about the ways in which their neighbors are getting it on. So, I’ve gotta ask, you ever think that maybe you’re the sinful and weird one?

This story is important for three reasons. First, it answers the question that everyone has been asking me for some reason. That question is, “Is Montel Williams still alive?” Second, it lets us know what he’s been up to recently:

Montel Williams showed up in Savannah, Georgia Friday to promote the drug industry’s program to help people afford prescription drugs. By the time he left town, the talk show host had threatened to “blow up” some local reporters, according to the Savannah Morning News.The threat was apparently triggered by the following question, posed by a high school intern working as a reporter: “Do you think pharmaceutical companies would be discouraged from research and development if their profits were restricted?”

Williams, who has multiple sclerosis and is a paid spokesman for the industry’s Partnership for Prescription Assistance, abruptly ended the interview shortly after that question was asked. Later in the day, the reporter went to a local hotel to do a feature on gingerbread houses displayed there. Williams, who was at the hotel for a separate event, believed they had followed him there.

And finally, it reminds us all that Montel is still dangerous after all these years of fame:

According to the reporter and two of her colleagues, Williams approached them and said, “Don’t look at me like that. Do you know who I am? I’m a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up.”

Williams has since issued an apology and offered to apologize to the young reporter during a taping of his show. Ken Johnson, an SVP at the industry trade group PhRMA told the paper it was a “regrettable incident.” Johnson noted that Williams suffers a great deal from MS, but added that “even on bad days bad behavior is not acceptable.”

Complete and total badass. Really though, I’m just using this as an appropriate excuse to post Talking Heads - Psycho Killer. Is there a better theme song for a lanky and socially awkward gangsta? I think not.

So, my friend Michael is worried/scared about the influence and power that Christian fundamentalists exert over Washington. But, being my optimistic self, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Though of course, my thesis requires that, as a nation, we descend further into madness. In full disclosure, that worries me. The recklessness of the mob knows no boundaries and witch hunts are always in fashion. However, the bizarre rhetoric that has flourished during this descent is, in a clinical sense, neat:

Sir Mike-A-Lot and the Queen of Slaughter
Posted: November 27, 2007
1:00 a.m. Eastern

By Janet Folger
© 2007

Once upon a time in the dark days of the great slaughter, there was a determined search for a king who would bring the slaughter to an end.

The wicked reigned in both houses of the shadowy Council, and black-robed tyrants ruled the land. The slaughter continued and the good people mourned. They fought and debated, dissented and deplored for three long dreary decades until their voices grew hoarse. They were disappointed and weary and a little bit leery, but their goal they saw clearly: to shield and not yield until all babies were protected from slaughter.

Finally, the day had come when a king or queen they would send to the White Palace to bring the slaughter to an end.

Three contenders stepped forth against the evil Queen of Slaughter: Prince Slay-’Em, the Sheriff of Floppingham and Friar Mike, in that order.

Prince Slay-’Em wore red, but like Queen Slaughter came from Blueville. They wore different colors, but both wanted to kill.

Prince Slay-’Em was for the slaughter, but said, he “didn’t like it.”

“Will you stop the slaughter?” asked Brian Schmitt.

“No,” he replied, “but I don’t like it one bit.”

As the people could see by the Royal Scrolls, the Sheriff of Floppingham’s new position had holes. Sheriff of Floppingham was always pro-slaughter. He was endorsed by the pro-slaughter lobby. In fact, defending slaughter, it seemed, was the Sheriff’s old hobby. “My mother was pro-slaughter,” he boasted along with his wife, not explaining how he’d escaped with his life.

“Tax-funded slaughter! Catholic hospitals too!” Though the Sheriff wears red, it’s clear he’s true blue.

The Sheriff was asked, “Do you believe a maiden has a right to kill her son or her daughter?”

The Sherriff of Floppingham answered:

I never called myself “pro-slaughter,”
I never allowed myself to use the word “pro-slaughter,”
Because I didn’t feel I was “pro-slaughter,”
I would protect the slaughter law, I said, as it was, but I wasn’t “pro-slaughter.”

Then he smiled and he waved and he promised and he paid.

Then somebody said, “If our leaders won’t lead, hey, why don’t we? For the slaughter to end, the message we’ll send with our friar friend named Mike.”

Others jumped up and said, “He’s from our ranks, and I would give thanks to see him take the lead.”

And the poll numbers surged at the thought that the slaughter would be purged, as the people joined behind Mike.

“But he isn’t perfect! Some ranted and raved!”

Then Sir Chuck of Norris rode forth pushing the earth down before him. Now the way would be paved! “I’ll watch the border, just get things in order!”

He lowered his sword and knighted Friar Mike, “I give you Sir Mike-A-Lot who we all Like a lot! He’s the only one we can trust to slay the Slaughter Dragon and the wicked Slaughter Queen. Now that he’s lean, he’s a fighting machine!”

Sir Don-of-the-Wild rode forth on his steed. “I’m ready to lead!” he said. “Sir Mike-A-Lot will protect all the tots from slaughter and make sure each has a mother and a father.”

And following along, 3 million strong, came Don-of-the-Wild’s faithful army.

“Sir Mike-A-Lot,” in one voice they declaraged, “is the one we trust to protect Royal Marriage.”

So Sir Mike led the way, with each son and each daughter, to face the evil queen and her dragon of slaughter.

With new passion they fought, as each of them ought, and the dragon they caught and they slayed him.

Then the evil queen of the Hill was exiled back to Blueville where she and her dragon could no longer kill.

Sir Mike raised his sword and sang praise to the Lord that children and marriage were protected once more. And the kingdom was filled with the children’s laughter, and the red and blue kingdoms lived happily after.

Janet L. Folger is president of Faith2Action: turning people of faith into people of action to WIN the cultural war TOGETHER for life, liberty and the family.

In Janet’s dramatic fairytale, the Queen of Slaughter is Hillary Clinton, Prince Slay-’Em is Rudy Giuliani, the Sheriff of Floppingham is Mitt Romney and Friar Mike is Mike Huckabee. I don’t know how the hell Sir Don-of-the-Wild is.

What is painfully obvious is that Janet is a complete Huckabee devotee. Huckabee is a nice enough man, but he gives every impression that, if elected he will be a “Jesus loves you” style pastor and not, you know, an actual president. I think the last thing we as a country need is another overburdened, shortsighted, god-wielding, and Jesus-complexed man as president. But, I don’t know. “Kumbaya” has a nicer ring to it than “Bomb bomb bomb Iran“.