PMS And Ways To Avoid It At Work.

As today's topic runs loose, I would like to say that this has nothing to do with you ladies and periods, which to us men are more of explanation mark than period. I went though a hard day at work when I kept dealing with ridiculous calls from those people most of us know as Upper Management. Of course, when I mean "ridiculous", this means that it has nothing to do with my job or it's description. Yes, my managers had PMS, also known as: Pissed-off Managers Syndrome. This is very common in the Retail World and is expected to get worse as the Christmas season approaches. Hey, maybe you will experience PMS from a manager of a store you are shopping in! And for you managers out there that deny this problem, you are only lying to yourselves.

So what causes PMS? What is it about? And what important tips exist that enable us to avoid experiencing such things? Well, to all the readers out there that have a boss, there is good news! There are ways to avoid the stress behind PMS. The first way is how to identify PMS with your manager or boss. There are some people that believe that PMS is an everyday event, but I assure you that that kind of boss is strictly psycho! While the true reason behind PMS is trivial, there is a strong chance that it involves stressful situations such as deadlines and visitors. Then again, they could just be upset at the world for cancelling Barney the Dinosaur from his normal airtime. Really, this is all a waste of time to figure out, because research indicates that more research is a waste of effort, so let’s will skip to the signs of PMS.

The first signs of Pissed-off Manager Syndrome are as follows (though, they can be tricky). One: They say they have PMS! Two: Your manager/boss expects you to break world record work times such as doing an inventory of the whole warehouse in less than fifteen minutes. Three: Your manager/boss is stuck on repeat and asks you to do the same thing more than five times after it has been done. Four: They have pointless meetings. Five: They are dressed so differently that he or she seems to be experiencing a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. Be wary of male managers that wear yellow to work! For more information, look it up in your employee handbook. Of course, one must realize that to find out whether or not your boss has PMS, you have to experience it first thing. Unfortunately, the government of United States has not given me a federal grant to start an early warning system that would be as effective as the tornado warning system. You will just have to bite the bullet or hear it through the grapevine from other coworkers. Angry coworkers are a good warning detections that something bad is on the loose like an IRS agent or that old lady that always seems to want to start kickboxing matches with every employee based off of that phase "The Customer is always right!" If that were true, I would own at least three mansions! Anyway, usually, there is nothing you can do to stop PMS from coming, except to call out from work.

But with all these tell tale signs, we can only pray work will go well. Wrong! That is a bad way to think, people! How to beat PMS with your Upper Management experiences it is to prepare yourself. To avoid possible PMS situations: 1. Be productive! Most managers will not bother you even if you look productive like counting inventory items. I worked with a guy named Warren who, for a half hour, was ignored by management, because he looked productive. He was counting ants! 2. Avoid wearing bright colors. This is important, because I see it all of the time. Someone always comes in wearing something bright, and they are the ones who are asked all of the questions and doing all of the work. Note: this actually only happens if you boss leaves the office. 3. Avoid contact at all costs! That is just a given! 4. If you must be confronted my a manager or boss with PMS, stay cool. This means, don't talk, don't move, listen, and try not to breathe. The breathing part is a hard one, but when they see you change colors, they will surely leave you be or let you pass out. 5. Have a plan. If you have a plan at work, you avoid possible interruptions, because you have a plan. This is why the Japanese military generals never bothered to evacuate any cities when Godzilla showed up, because the police always had a plan. 6. Smile! Smiling can do a few things for your PMS buddy. It could brighten his or her day, annoy them enough so they leave you alone, or scare them into thinking something is wrong with you. By the length of this post, you can tell what my smiles usually do.

The key thing is to try to blow it off when management goes berserk! Even though it happens at least twice a week, remember that you can say that you conquered the day. If not, you always have the dartboard with your boss' face on it!


P.S. Definitions:

  • Deadlines: A time when something is suppose to be done that helps production, but nobody really knows for sure.

  • Visitors: These could be either aliens or management at a district level. Either way, they are one and the same

  • Godzilla: The King Of All Monsters.

  • Barney the Dinosaur: An unfortunate creature that was hopefully eaten by Godzilla.


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