The Visitor.

Well, I must say that I am proud to have a day of from the Communist work camp, because the extra pressure of today would have made me laugh. I am still surprised that I was not called in yet! I am sure they will. So what is all of the fuss about? Boscov's, the retail giant only recognized by places such as New Jersey, is having a visitor. Yes, today, the fear factor is showing up to inspect the store and bring upper management to the point of kissing feet. It amazes me how this works considering the fact that this visitor is a person. Of course, we all like to think that regional managers are people, but in retail, it seems like they are really all-powerful beings from another planet or, of course, Darth Vader! The good news for my fellow coworkers is that they don't care. It usually works out this way.

As far back as my first retail job, I can remember management almost defecating when they heard of a visitor coming. And the workers still didn’t care. Of course, this is the first job that I have had where the regional manager did not have the last name of King. Al King, George King, Mike King: They were always Kings! And of course, when you saw them, you almost started to laugh at them. This is why I am not a manager! The last one, Mike King for Lowe's came to my store in Surfside Beach, SC with the threat that he might be able to bench-press a Volkswagen with his pinkies. Needless to say, I was shocked when I saw him. He was about 5'2" with gray hair. But then again, we all underestimated Yoda in Star Wars.

But as I said before, I am on a day off, even though, I know that is my phone ringing in the background. I guess I lost a five cent bet. I bet that our visitor would not show up, because why would he? This is like a long list of possible visitations that retail stores everywhere get. The store managers get to the point of driving everyone crazy only to get a no-show! Really, I think that regional management is just kidding around. Little did those store managers in terror know, the regional people are actually telling them this as a prank while drinking martini's in a bar in Del Ray Beach, FL. Like they would really wanted to visit a store? But then again, I have seen a district manager come and inspect a store so that he could get some bathroom supplies. I think he was Ron King. There are too many to remember.

As much as I am annoyed with the whole visitation thing, I have to give it up for the Regional Management Team. They have certainly got it made! they have bosses that show up even less than they do. They get paid well for just having meetings about "having meetings!" They get breakfast meetings, lunch meetings, brunch meetings, and dinner all paid for by the company where us associates slave for, and they can drink on the job while doing it! IF anyone disagrees with this, speak up now. I know they do, because I used to see them before happy hour started. They are those people laughing about the low wages they give their employees and about the prank visits they said they were going to do in the back of the bar wearing blazers, shirts, and ties. I remember seeing at least four lunch meetings a week. SSSHH! Don't tell them, though!

Anyway, I don't want to say that I hate regional management. I am sure they are people just like anyone else. Besides, we all know we would do the same thing in their shoes. It is like our fascination with ants. It is just a fun thing to. That is why the ant farm industry is still around. I just ask for you regional managers to do one thing, teach store managers to take a joke better!



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