Strange Things Happening In The Pacific Ocean!

Dear Friends, fans, George Clooney, and IRS:

This is a formal statement apologizing to the recent degradation of our American Food Service Industry. I may have been a little too harsh based on the fact that it is true. But I assure that whom ever it may concern that I am deeply sorry. Really! And this is why! According to scientists, strange things are happening in the Pacific Ocean with climate and the animals in it. Really, it comes down to the fact that the salmon are going to be affected by these climate changes. This is a bad thing, because I love salmon rolls. That is right, I love sushi! If there is one thing that I like about the Japanese other than Godzilla, it is sushi. I am a freak for the stuff. But to the point, the scientists are concerned based on this year's ocean temperatures and the increase of dead birds showing up on the coast, which I hope they are all seagulls. They are evil, evil birds. They also really enjoy bombing my car! So the scientists are concern based on a couple of things. One: Will they get a federal grant from our favorite President Bush?! Two: How will this impact the current population who doesn't care? Three: What are we going to name this event, because we are DAMN sure that the meteorologists are not going to give it a name this time! Four: Will Jim Cantore be involved?

For the scientists, I hope nothing major is about to happen. According to some researchers, there is a big possibility that global warming has a lot to do with it! This I assure you is bull-hockey! If you experienced the cold of last winter in New York, you would realize that global warming is just a little lazy! Of course, if it is not global warming, it is our other friend, Mr. El Niño! It never surprises me when El Niño shows up on the Weather Channel. The weather just can't be random. Just like all of those hurricanes had nothing to do with the reelection of George Bush. I am still under the belief that the government has something to do with the weather like secret weapons. Either that or George asked the Weather Channel to give out horrible names to the hurricanes to convince them to hit the U.S. It seems to happen that way. Examples: Hugo, Opal, and Charlie. These are names you give your kids to get beat up in high school! So of course, they are angry damaging storms!

Anyway, I sure you don't really care what it is called or who names the event as long as it is as entertaining as Storm Stories or John Hope is pulled out of retirement to cover the story! The point is that there are strange things going on! And if we don't care soon, it will start to happen in our living rooms! Global warming, El Niño, paying taxes, AAHHHHHHHHHH! Okay, I got carried away. Anyway, I apologize for my last e-mail about food service! I realize that bashing such this as the Food Industry can interrupt my need for sushi! So I'm am sorry, but you still deserve it! Have a nice day! Sincerely:



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