The Moon Is Going To Explode In Six Months!

As usual, another tabloid story strikes fear into the hearts of everyone, everyone being old people. They seem more subject to extra excitement in life. But, for whatever reason, the moon might blow up. This has definitely cast a fog over screen-scripts in the past decade. It looks like a another round of remakes is in order like Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory. As much as I like Johnny Depp, why? This are a long list of movies that seem to be creeping back. It is like directors can not help themselves, and with the moon ending its rain of terror in six months, I am sure we will not see the end of great ideas such as a Jaws remake! If they do that, I will surely buy a gun!

With alarming news of the moon ending, I did what every American would do, I went to the movies. I went to see another addition to Marvel Comics' movie campaign: The Fantastic Four. I thought it was pretty good. It did not seem fantastic, but at least, it was better than what the critics wrote in the Times Union. According to the world of critics, it was rated the grade-school letter of a D for "Dumb Idea". Of course, these were the same people who thought the movie Van Helsing was very good. So, it is all a matter of opinion. Personally, I believe that if it is a Marvel Comic, it will always get a bad review. Reason being, the critics are all closet comic geeks that have to have everything perfect. I think that is why I did not like the movie The Incredible Hulk. I think the TV show influenced me a lot. I just figured that he was mad, because he had a horrible hairstyle and was commonly confused with the Jolly Green Giant. My bad!

Either way, back to the matter at hand! I am beginning to think that the directors are drawing blanks. I know that it is terrible, but it would not be the first. Movies are like fashion, they show up again. I just hope to God that the 80's do not come back! But the first dried up round of movies was in the 70's. For those of you who were too baked to remember, we started coming out with stupid stuff. If Clint Eastwood was not involved, it seemed that movies were shot. Especially, in the horror department. Of course, I must confess that I was a big fan of The Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes! After seeing that on TV, I stopped using ketchup. I liked to say when I was a kid that I was supporting the Tomato cause. And of course, there were the Planet Of The Apes movies. Charleston Heston is a God and should run for president! After all, he parted the sea once, and he always seemed bold in his ways. "Get your damn hands off me, you dirty ape!" The remake killed the Planet Of The Apes just like Val Kilmer killed Batman. Batman Begins was great, but how can your forget George Clooney in the last two? Speaking about remakes and the moon, I am still shocked that they remade The Time Machine. The moon was destroyed in that movie. They did not really explain that. Maybe, they all witnessed a remake of the movie Volcano.

Either way, if movies keep selling out to the remake ideal, fear not, there is always the Japanese version of Godzilla! Maybe, he will eat the moon as well as the rough copy of Willy Wonka.



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