The Secret Life Of Beavers And The Trees They Kill!

Today, I went with my dad to look around the island that we live on called People’s Island. We had concluded that it is still not Spring in New York. Why else would it still be cold? The flowers seemed to have come from Michael's. But the neat thing I got to see is the amazing population of groundhogs. It just gave me memories of a few Bill Murray movies. It happens! But since I know next to nothing about groundhogs with the exception of them being great meteorologists, I decided to upgrade this essay and discuss a bigger and better animal: The beaver. Oh, please! Keep you mind out of the gutter you sick puppies!

When I first noticed the groundhogs, my dad said that Mr. Burke thought they were beavers. He works with my dad on a GE plant. GE is for General Evil, I mean, General Electric. It just so happens that groundhogs in New York outnumber the squirrels. Scary? But if Mr. Burke had only known about the true life of beavers, he would have never mistaken them. Almost everyone knows what a beaver looks like. It is somewhat small and furry rodent with a paddle-like tail used to beat tourists.

What few people know about beavers is the fact that they are one of the few animals that change their surroundings to their standard. They just happen to like water. It was an interesting event receiving a customer with a problem when I worked at Lowe’s. He wanted to know how to kill the beavers next door. I told him to use a gun. Of course, I assumed that he meant the animal, and not a family. Apparently, this one customer became slightly upset when a beaver family decided to dam up a creek nearby. This would have normally never bother the man, but he did not like walking in a foot of water in his kitchen. I still stuck with the gun idea. Unfortunately, there was a lack of communication between neighbors. Too bad.

If there is one thing everyone assumes about is that beavers are small creatures. I guess your common house cat takes down 35 foot trees. Yes, beavers are big. I was out hiking in the wild when I discovered a beaver dam behind K-Mart. Then, I saw it! It was like seeing Godzilla. The beaver was the size of a Great Dane. It would definitely do damage to a small car. So that is why I got better insurance coverage for my Honda Civic. It seems that Georgia has an extreme cheapness with car insurance, because, not only can I burn it down with four people inside, but it covers falling trees from rather large beavers. Either way, the point to this e-mail is to never underestimate the power of the beavers. They are powerful and cause damage to homes. So if your house has a beaver problem, and you don't own a gun, complain to Oregon State University. They seem to think they are beavers!


P.S. If a beaver takes down a tree in the middle of the woods, and it falls on a mime, would anyone care?


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