Jobs: Another Side Effect of Life.

I woke up today on my first day off, since I started my new job to my cell phone buddy yelling at me! I would prefer Samuel L. Jackson, but what can you do? It appears that my wonderful District Manager wanted me to go to work because someone else wanted a day off instead. I soon felt a thunderous laugh come over me after hearing this message! Right, skip my day off for someone who can't call me themselves! Classic. But that is what my job is like. I am not going to work! But I thought about my favorite book when I was a child as I slowly recovered from waking up and laughing: It Could Be Worse. It has an old man in it that kept getting into problems such as Godzilla carrying him off to eat him. He would only say: (Together Now!) "Could be worse!" So I decided to give my list of the worst jobs I could think of. Viewer be warned, If case of lightning strikes, duck! Here it goes!

The IRS Agent: I have mentioned them before, but I do not think there is any other job that involves more hatred during the time of Spring. It is not like we really know any of them. I think that if anyone really knows an IRS Agent, it is because they too are an IRS Agent. You would have to lie to make it through life.

  1. The DMV Worker: I know I shouldn’t make fun of them too much, since I have to see them soon, but come on! The Division of Motor Vehicles provides the best workers. The are the “happy” in clowns; the happy is just locked away in an attitude like Stone Cold Steve Austin without any beer!

  2. Nuclear Waste Management: Overall, this is not that bad of a job. It is the highest paying job. which involves maybe a High School Diploma. The only problem is that your life is slightly shortened by 30 years and you get to grow a third arm.

  3. A K-Mart Employee: When we think of the Wonderful World of Retail, we usually think of the Nazis, I mean, Wal-Mart! Yes, they are number #1 in their field, but I would have to say that K-Mart is worse. As my dad used to call it, it was "The Land of Empty Boxes!" We used to joke around point out every junkyard in Alabama saying that it was another K-Mart. That joke usually lasted for ten minutes, because the junkyards in Alabama outnumber the total population of the state of Georgia. It was bad enough that my friend Heather called in dead to work, and it was excepted. I think we all need jobs like that!

  4. Ok, we have to go there! Wal-Mart Customer Service Representatives: These people might as well be the next Marines. They are yelled at least 50 times a day about stuff that have nothing to do with them. I am sure that they are even blamed for stuff like Iraq, George Clooney, Carrot Top, cell phones, Don King's hairstyle, The Neverland Ranch, and Barney the Dinosaur! I wouldn't be surprised if some of the customer service people were sociopaths!

  5. The Kid Dentists: This job can be taken in two ways. One, you have to deal with children that are definitely upset during your job. Of course, two, if you like upsetting children, it is good to know that your are listed highly as the Root of All Evil next to the Boogieman, and you get paid well! I used to hate the times when your dentist tells you about a cavity that you don't feel, and then, they shove a metal hook into it as hard as they could to make sure you felt it! I so wanted to put one of those hooks up their nose!

  6. The Sanitary Engineer: I would hate to have to clean the bathrooms! Especially, at schools!

  7. A Subway Sandwich Artist: Let me tell you, when I first got my degree in Art Studio, the Sandwich Artist was not exactly what I had in mind. It wasn't very fun, and Jared is full of it. There are more fat people I met at Subway than anywhere else. Jared must have been secretly been dating Jenny Craig!

  8. The Accountant: I know there are many people out there that are studying to be an accountant, but come on! You can't tell me that you are going to have fun with it! One of my friends once told me that he got excited over the checks with the sunflower background. It made his day!

  9. The Sewage Treatment Plant Worker: This job stinks! Need I say more!

Jobs are meant to be hell otherwise we would not do them. We are humans, and are job is to complain. Just remember, stupid is as stupid does! It is the groundwork for all of retail and most of the other jobs mentioned. I have more, but we'll get back to them later! Have a nice day at work!


Question: What do you call a 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Answer: A good start!


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