It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

So you thought I was down and out, but as the story goes, the only thing that is certain is Death and Taxes. So it brings great terror to remind you all of our favorite American duty: Taxes. Everywhere across the country, people are collecting paper work for the big government bite. It is a fun subject to talk about, but the big question stands on why we pay taxes. As the usual explanation goes, it is to pay our government to keep running so we can pay for happy things such as Postal Workers. And who can forget the DMV. Yes, us Americans have the power to provide ourselves with services that we usually hate. It is in Human Nature to do hateful things to ourselves. Which brings us to the IRS, better known as the Blood Sucking Mosquitoes, I mean, Internal Revenue Service. Every year, We, the people pay the IRS. But as Skibicki research shows, there was always something funny about those guys.Question: Can you name all of the people you know that are IRS Agents?

As we all know, there is only one place to find IRS agents: that is at their office. The Government probably uses the Witness Protection Agency to get them out of the building. But there is a reason we do not like them, it just does not seem right that we pay them. So Skibicki Research went further into the IRS. Historically, if there is one thing that the South hated the North for was taxes. Back in the day, the Southerners had issues before the Civil War over large tariffs. Too the surprise to most people, there was another reason to fight the Civil War for the North other than Slavery. The income tax! It was a wonderful idea to pay for wars and other problems, so President Abraham Lincoln invented the income tax along with the IRS. It was one of two agencies that have stood the test of time. The Pinkertons, a secret service agency that protected the president by sleeping through President Lincoln's assassination, and the IRS. The funny thing is that the IRS is not really a Government Agency. They are like contractors without an end date! Imagine the surprise to the South when the income tax was introduced! It was like John Kerry when we all found out that he was a Lawyer! Cancel that idea!

In either case, our IRS is listed under the US Treasury Department to make us Americans feel good about pay taxes! Then again, the Secret Service is also in the Treasury Department? Maybe, the DMV is too! The point is that, since we now know that they are not part of the government, can we refuse to pay taxes? The answer is "yes", though there is a lot of Government resistance on this based on the National Debit, which is a bunch of bills that we seem to owe to other countries and ourselves. I am not sure how that works, but it appears to me that our country is listed as the most Powerful Country in the World. So why can't we just say there is no National Debt? Death!

Another interesting thing that I learned from those IRS buddies is that there are currently about 99,000 active IRS agents in our country, which seem to be more secretive than the Secret Service. I just always wondered how one becomes an agent with the IRS. After looking up a couple of website, Skibicki Research has no answers about that. I figure that they were given a questionnaire that asked questions like "Are you willing to get shot, stabbed, or paper cuts from those 1040 forms?" or "Do you eat Popcorn with Texas Pete Sauce?" We all assume that it is just a paperwork job, but you have to be a little crazy and willing to go skydiving. It has the same dangers. If you can imagine the first IRS Agent, they were probably all carrying guns. Now, they send paperwork through the Post Office, because Postal Workers won't stand for violence, unless it is their own! I just imagine an IRS Agent to be like Agent Smith from the movie, The Matrix. He always acted like an IRS Agent! They do not seem to laugh much, but at least there is more personality than a DMV worker!

So that is it! I decided to apply for the IRS. I know it is a death wish, but I need to spice up my life! Just remember that Toy Story 2 theme song: "You Got A Friend In Me!" That way, I won't have to go Postal on you! Just remember, taxes are your friends.



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