"Ah, I See You Are Using The Machine That Goes "BEEP"!"

It happened last night! It was a thing I could not control, and it was a nightmare! I had a dream where I was doing a never ending inventory for Lowes in the Electronics Department. And reason I mention it to you is the fact that I might make the news as a convicted murderer! Daniel Cooper is going to die! Who is thing strange man, you may ask? He is one of my fellow inventory workers. He is a goofy person from Kennesaw, Georgia. He is also on the few red-neck friends I have in Georgia. As the story goes, he told me during a Lowe's inventory in Ellijay, Georgia that you will eventually have a "Beeping Dream" about RGIS, the company we work for. Of course, I have to laugh it up, because that sounded stupid. Besides, that was the last full week I worked of RGIS. I started working Sundays only on behalf of the exciting world of Sports Authority where I am the Team Sports God!So what is the deal with things that go "BEEP?" What I am talking about is the Auditor Machine. It is a machine that is belted around your body that also removes your pants. The thing looks like a 1970's register strapped to your body, so it goes well with any outfit. On the first day of training, a guy name Kim Kimberly told us that we would get used to the idea of hanging this object from our belts. We were also going to be able to type anything in without looking. So with that in mind, I am going to write a story with out looking at the keyboard or the screen to see what I learned.


today U ewnt to the stor to dagt at applef or dinner. Id anerrally got int o any accident forna dumbaas who ctuume off . But I amm ojay1

So you can see that with out looking, I am a horrible typist! That is also why I gave Kim a weird look, which he must get often. It did not effect him. So in either case, we also get a laser gun to zap the UPC codes of products like Buck Rogers! And every time you zap a product, it makes a "BEEP" loud and clear to tell you that it has been counted in the system. I can see eager little faces staring in computer screens with questions! What happens when twenty people are counting in less than five feet? Other than the possible sexual harassment, a lot of "beeps" go off at the same time confusing us workers. You have to be a sharp character to run these pieces of crap!

Anyway, my dream started after a wonderful day of Sports Authority. Definition: Wonderful: (adj.)1. a great feeling. joyful, zest! 2. My definition of how a object, place, or person sucks. I was sitting in the playroom of my home watching T.V. when something happened. Mr. Sandman walked in the room declaring that I must sleep. I fell asleep like my dad does. To my horror, another Skibicki trait was passed down to me from my father. My dad cannot stay awake for more than five minutes when he sits down to watch T.V. This is one reason my step-mom refuses to take him to movies. Not only does he sleep, but he sounds off like a saw mill! There are few times I seen him stay awake. The most classic time was when he watched "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" It is a movie everyone must see on behalf of my dad. So I woke up screaming over the slavery of "beeps"!

Now, I told Daniel Cooper that if I had ever had a dream like that, I would have to kill him. So I am concerned that I must follow through with my promise. If not that, convince his wife to kill him for me. But that maybe cruel and unusual punishment. I guess I'll have to do a coin toss over it. So if you see me on the show COPS or America's Most Wanted, be proud to have known me. May your stories of me make you rich! Just don't call me to do your store's inventory!


P.S. Beep You!


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