Just Give Me A Gun!

That's IT! Christmas Cheer! I want to buy a gun. I know what you are all thinking: I lost it, but it is for a present. As interesting as it sounds, my father has been mentioning guns for some reason. I would not have considered a month earlier, since he was struggling with finding a job as well as me. But he has been saying something about it. Reason to case, a couple of nights ago, my family got frightened by a noise. It was some Black guy trying to break-in into my household. I also believe it was the same guy testing my car earlier that ran away. For whatever reason, I did not mention to my dad or sisters, so the BAD GUY came for my house! Crazy!

Which brings to an Atlanta story on bad people. These are true events, but consider how effective they were. One summer, a guy decided to go on a break-in spree, because he has nothing better to do in the summer. But it bothered Police on what he would do! Well, of couse it did, since we pay them to be bothered! Anyway, this guy would walk in unlocked front doors, and take stuff even if you were home. How? If you saw him, he would say "sorry" , and WALK out of the house like it was no big deal. One would think that he would have been arrested on the spot, but people would be so shocked, they would respond like deer. Stiff as a board, and confused. But what was interesting, is that he was nice and walked away, even when he was carrying stuff out. So the Cobb County Police had a dilema: Not only did they have to be bothered, but they had to arrest a nice guy. They also had to work. It is a real problem when Police have to work, but it happens. So how fast did they find this guy? Two months. The DMV people could have been more effective in finding him. They look for the nice people to ruin their day! At least he was nice.

But bad people are not always mean. They just have mean results or they are bad cooks. If you have heard recently, two middle school girls decided to be nice and cook something special for their teacher and classmates. It happened to have glue and tabasco sauce in it causing the Sanitary Engineer (Janitor) to get busy! Needless to say, their plan back fired, one is in jail for her protection and the other is out of school. You may ask why jail would be protection? Simple, no one died, so they would definitely remember her. Another problem happened at a local college where girl roomates did not see eye-to-eye. So one girl decided to give her roomate's Orange Juice an extra kick. She may have been thinking of making her a Screw-Driver? But instead of Vodka, she used Chlorox Bleach. It send the girl to the Hospital instead of class. This interesting tale ends with a twist, the guilty girl stayed out of jail, and the victim stayed two doors down from her in the same hall. I would hate to be the replacement roomate. I'm sure she layed some ground rules like "no Chlorox allowed in the room!"

But this is a pesonal story, Christmas served it's purpose for one guy. He got a free car. How was this bad? It was ours! Back in the day, when it was just my dad, my brother, and me, we went shopping. You can imagine a group of guys shopping for guys at a mall. It is very similiar to Opera having a sex change. It would be weird, even though it could be a possible? We were single men surrounding buy busy shopping women. I think I was ten! In either case, we left Rich's to discover we were not rich, and now car-less! Someone had taken the crappy 1980-something Oldsmobile to go joy-riding. So we talked to the police officer who really did not care to be there, and told him what was taken. In the end, we got the car back three days later. What I can't understand is why they took my school books? They were not that interesting.

So to get back to guns, my dad has been making serious jokes about it. (Definition: Serious Joke: Noun. 1. A joke made to be funny, but with a point. 2. Or a point given with jest!) He said it would be useful for Homeland Defense. We all had heard this term before! President George W. Bush refers to it everyday. So I guess it is not a Serious Joke, because it never works! Unless you live in Switerland. Everyone is in the Military there! So get this, a shotgun at your local Sports Authority costs about $200.00. Yes, that is dirt cheap. Another $200, and I can get an AK-47! The thing that gets me for buying it is a statement made. Another Serious Joke, my step-mom said. She said not to get a gun, because she would probably shoot David. That's me! I guess what bothered me was the missing magic word "Accidentially." That and she may be mad at me if I get it! But I have a closing argument! The cheap shotgun is labelled "Home Defense", so it must be good against accidents. I am sure I will win! That was not a Serious Joke!



Popular Posts