Another Sexual Dream (Part III)

Happy Thursday with another dream to wake me up. In case you did not get the other parts of this title, I will have to keep you up to date. The first involved Irish Spring Soap, and the second ended with an angry Postal worker who only spoke German. As usual, I had another sexual dream, and they are always strange. If you can picture this: I was walking into a Michael's, a craft store, when I came across this nice girl who seemed interested in me. It was then, I she spoke to me that she started to remove her clothes. For you guys out there, stop drooling! It was at the point to her full naked self that it happen. About twelve angry dwarves dressed in elf uniforms proceed to beat her down. Then, they came at me witha a hammer cussing me out. I woke up assuming that I died, but I was more disturbed about having the song, Jingle Bells stuck in my head at four in the morning.

Which brings us to our favorite over marketed holiday: Christmas! This dream was surely sparked by the Christmas music I heard in Walmart. But it is not a surprise that it has started before Thanksgiving Day. The Christmas decorations were up in July at least in some stores in South Carolina. There are even stores that are dedicated to Christmas all year around. I remember job hunting in Febuary where The Christmas Store was still hiring for people! I guess we can forgive this holiday for the music part. Think about all of the Halloween and Thanksgiving Music we hear. The questions still stands today: Does anyone know any Thanksgiving songs other than Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving Song? I did not think so!

It just dawned on me in the early morning hours about the position I put myself in. I got a job at a Sports Authority at North Point Mall. I am not in the mall itself, but for those who have seen the mall, you realize they build it too small. They had to add forty strip malls around it to get all of the stores around for the shoppers. Sports Authority happens to be one of those misfortuned stores that is not in the mall. Traffic is bad in the area, and I look forward to the Christmas Cheer of mulitply that times seven! Christmas traffic seems to always equal hell on Earth. I think that Dante's Inferno was skipping a few things. We are all slaves to the traffic lights.

The Christmas Gifts: I remember when it was fun to give a receive gifts in the family. Now, it is ten years later, and I am afriad that I will offend somebody. And of course, you are only allowed to give on the day of Christmas. I tried one year to give my dad a present early by five days. I was refused, and told to wait until Christmas. It was funny to me, because if it was not a Christmas present, a day became my dictator for the full month of December. I guess I looked at it a different why, since I was born in December. But of course, we only look at one perspective of Christmas. It is different for other countries like Santa Claus or St. Nicholas comes on December 2nd on my birthday in some parts of Germany. Russia has Christmas on January 7th. Austrailia does something in the heat, because Santa's reindeer die of heatstroke Down Under. And the Japanese, we won't go there, because they got Godzilla!

I just wanted to let everyone to be peaceful for the holiday's. Don't get upset with the Jews or Muslims based on the fact that only half of the Christmas music applies to them. Don't cuss out your neighbor in your car, even if he DID cut you off. Don't expect presents when you should really expect love. Or else you will start having dreams like mine where the Nuclear Atom Bat attacks Moby Dick the Whale over a bowl of Fruit Loops Cereal with Jingle Bells playing in the background! Have Fun!


P.S. Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way............


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