Adventures Of Nappy Cat.

I have come to make an announcement. I, David T. Skibicki, decided to write a book of comedy entitled When The Nutz Fall Far From The Tree. I figured with my humor, it would be a good seller. At least, it was not something like Revenge Of The Nuclear Squirrel or something like that. In either case, my stories are flying across the nation taking e-mail and the internet by storm. Pretty soon, I will be hanging out with people like David Barry learning the works on the humor columnist career. Maybe, I'll be famous. Well, enough about that. I decided to write about "Nappy Cat." I have recently been published on a internet site listed under My only complaint is that it has not been visited as often. Maybe, it has to do with me. My theory is the title page being listed as "The Nappy Cat Chronicles." I do not think the common person would get that, because it sounds like a cartoon character. That is where I come in. I am here to tell you about Nappy Cat.Where to begin? How about fishing? Fishing, the most dedicating sport of lies. It is one of the few sports that involve the seeing is believing. Why do care about what size a fish is as oppose to seeing what good our politicians are doing for our country? Simple: we expect disappointment from politicians! At least with a fish, you can cook it and eat it with no shame, unless you are a bad cook. So like most fishing stories, there are no lights or camera, so one could declare they caught the Loch Ness Monster, and we could still imagine at least a 7lb. bass. That is the point to fishing! You also do not have to catch anything to be a successful fisherman these days. You hear of all the excuses on the loading dock about the guy who hooked a big one that almost got it in the boat, but the fishing line snapped. Go figure! But that action attracts us.

So back to Nappy Cat. It was a beautiful day of boredom during my junior year of Coastal Carolina University. There was nothing to do, but study. So who studies during nice days? This is college we are talking about people! So two of my fraternity brothers of Pi Kappa Phi decided to go fishing in the local Waccamaw River. Of course, there is not a lot of fish you can catch in that river. It was far from a hope to getting anything. So the best and easiest thing to catch is your simple freshwater catfish. So I went to the store for bait and tackle to get this stuff called Nabba Cat. Someone had told me the shit drives catfish wild, and I believed it. It smelled like shit, and I am sure if there where ever any takers, it probably tasted like it. So it came down to two brothers named Drew Bird and Shawn Jones, myself, crappy beer (a fisherman's Must), and the Nabba Cat in a can. We went down to the river to fish the backwaters. After an hour of getting nothing, but the very permanent smell of Nabba Cat attached to our bodies, we decided to move to the river itself. Keep in mind the Motto of Fishing. I think you can probably sing this:

Early to bed
Early to Rise
Fish like Hell
And Make Up Lies!

So I got to watch the very promising first cast of one of the two brothers who I will not mention by name due to embarrassment, but Drew got it to bounce through the tree line off a record-breaking number of branches to find his lure of Nabba Cat dangling an inch above the water. Great Job! I cannot say that I was very good myself. I caught Shawn's fishing pole after pulling out of his hands. Note: we do not mention the beer, because the cheap beer was left unopened. Open cheap beer is a bad omen for fishermen. Or maybe it is the other way around. Anyway, we had an extreme horrible time catching anything with the exception of the local trees. So we do want most fisherman do. We caught stickfish! Nevermind if there is a definition to one or not. They were stickfish, damn it! We felt satisfied. So what did you learn about Nappy Cat. Nappy Cat is Nabba Cat. Of course, the problem with the product is that it only works well in water. It stinks up a storm. It takes a total of 47 minutes of constant washing to remove the existence of Nabba Cat from the body. So when shit goes wrong, we now yell out "Nappy Cat!" For now, I will resist to tell further tales of Nappy Cat. I assure you more will come. NAPPY CAT!


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